I believe you have "Cyclomythia" my doctor said to me. After asking me a ton of questions. However I am not fully qualified to make this diagnosis. So I will have my secretary book you an aptointment with a Physciatrist. to either confirm my guess or refute it. In the meantime I want you to start taking medication for your underlying depression. This should help you level out , and help lesson your irability. "What is Cyclomythia" ? I asked in a voice filled with hesitation. I wanted to know but at the same time I was afraid to know. Not to mention the fact that we had recently moved to a new city and I had only been seeing this doctor for a year or so. Not long enough for this feeling of vulnerability to go away. This was a word and a condition I had never heard of. 'Don't let the word scare you", he reasured me. 'This is a very common physciatric disorder from the spectrum of mood disorders". "In fact it is the mildest form" of a mood disorder', Another name for this type of disorder is called Manic Depression "Many people have this disorder". And they are able to live and enjoy a good quality life style. "It appears you have had bouts of moods your entire life, although not severe enough to worry about"!
"However as I said I am not fully qualified to make this diagnosis , so we shall see what your Physciatrist has to say". He handed me the perscription for an anti depressant,. He quickly left the room and I left the office. I had a ton of questions for him, but knew I would have to book another apointment to get these questions answered. This doctor was quite rigid about his 15 min apointment rule. And he had already broken his rule with me in this appointment.
My doctors secretary called me one week later with a date and time to see a Physciatrist. A female one, this made me feel a little more relaxed for some reason. Maybe I thought, a female doctor would have more patience and understanding. Or better yet some answers that made actual sense for a change!
I took my medication faithfuly, and in the third week I had to admit to myself I was feeling much better. In fact I was feeling terrific! Maybe these medications are not so bad after all. Maybe I did not need to see a Physciatrist , I thought to myself. Perhaps my family doctor made a mistake in his assesment of me. After all he did say , he was not fully qualified to make a diagnosis. Regardless, with each passing day I found my energy level soaring. I found myself operating on less and less sleep! . It was great! There were no moods, to speak of period. I just felt fantastic. I could take on ten different tasks at once, and not worry, or even care if I did not complete them. And with absolutely no irritability or frustrations.
Even the sunshine was brighter. Colors were brilliant, almost sparkly. the blue sky was not just a blue sky . But "A fantasticly blue sky"!. Unlike any other blue sky I had ever seen in my entre life. . I had to get my family to come outside and really look at it! Although sometimes they just looked at me.I was sure local news team at 6 oc clock, would do a segment about this new phenomina. Maybe they would offer an explanation as to why everything was so bright and brilliant. The days were no longer ordinary!, but extraordinary .But my family was just not getting it, The agitation was setting in, but I did not know this at the time. I found myself playing specific songs over and over again on the Cd Player. Just to hear the Violin before the chorus in the song "Dust in the Wind",! it brought me to my knees! Each and every time I played it, a new chord was reached inside of me. It was euphroic. True Euphoria! This new found joy in music, branched off into every thing I saw, everything I did. It was like I had been sleeping my entire life, and had just woke up to a new world. A world filled with nothing but beauty and laughter. Where everything sparkled! I had never known that there was such a thing as clarity of mind. Every thought I had was crystal, These thoughts were absolutely brilliant. Maybe I am born again! Somewhere somehow I became born again.... I thought about this for quite some time...
I started to laugh at the simplest things. It was great. In fact one day while browsing the mall with my daughter, I saw a man walking arround with a Mosquito net!, he had a hat on with fishing lures hanging down from it. Big ones , small ones. Colorful ones . Ugly ones. This for some reason struck me as hysterical! I could not contain myself. I tried very hard to stiffle the laughter,With my hands I covered my moth. I hid in the corner of the shop where my daughter and I had been shopping , laughing like a mad woman into my hand. The tears rolled down my cheeks. Every muscle in my stomach ached. It hurt so good! Then I fell over., jumped back up and ran to the bathroom to releave myself.
We left the mall, My daughter apperently was quite worried about me at that point, but I did not know this at the time