Would You Kindly Hit Me? Please?


How could I be that...?

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I can't even find the right words to say to her; instead I just spit out whatever came to mind and ended up chasing her off like a rampant monkey! Goodness, what's wrong with me?

I let out a heavy sigh and slumped against a brick column, staring off into the direction Lynette ran to. I couldn't keep up with her. Well, actually I could, but I suppose my senses kicked in and decided that chasing her was a bad idea. And the irony in that sentence is obvious, I know, but can you blame me? All I was trying to do was warn her.

"You can see how that worked out..." I grumbled to no one but myself.

I slapped my hand to my face in utter regret and groaned at my own ridiculous actions that just occurred moments ago. Really, Ethan; really, I wanted to mutter out, but I doubted that would make anything better at this particular moment. Then again, I wasn't sure that anything could make it better besides walking up to Lynette and telling her I'm sorry. Although, I'm sure there is nothing to be sorry about - I was just telling her what was true. I admit I was probably very vague on the details and wasn't exactly gentle about it, but...I did what I was supposed to.


"Hey, emo, you realize your girlfriend just ran away like there was sale on pom-poms?" A sarcastic voice taunted.

I looked up from the hand that was covering my face (in shame) to see Ashley staring at me with her eyebrows arched with an unimpressed expression plastered on her face. Oh God, Ash was seriously not the support-system I needed right now, and considering the look on her face, she wasn't exactly here to give me a pat on the back and say it was going to be okay. Nope, she wasn't like that one bit, but if she was, and just for a brief moment, I would be scared if the world was coming to an end. Seriously.

"Hello, Ethan," she sneered. My face turned to utter horror and fear by the way my name came out of her mouth. Did I ever mention there were times when Ash scared the man out of me? Guess what...this was one of those times.

I sounded so sheepish and pathetic when I stammered out, "Err...Ashley?" And then I felt a terrible sting in my gut and I was facing downwards looking at her foot that was tapping impatiently. "Oh you were just brilliant, weren't you Ethan?" Her sarcasm was barely noticeable as I was comforting the soreness of my stomach. The pain was pulsing and I began to yell out something, despite the stinging feeling, "Ah, Ashley! Jeez, that hurt! Why the heck did you do that?"

Ashley turned from unimpressed to...uh....pissed off.  "Really now? If you think that hurt, wait until I get really mad," If I wasn't already backed up against something solid, I'm pretty sure I'd be running for the hills right now...

Ashley put her hands on her hips and her face was stern. "Look I know you care, but don't you think you're not doing a good job?" she questioned, her tone not exactly close to friendly. My face went blank and I stared at her like I was staring into oblivion. "Oh, then how should I have done it?" I admit, I sounded rather snide when I spoke, but in my defense, I don't think that Ash had an opinion in this. "I had to sit there and tell her what a jerk her boyfriend is and that he is bad for her. Basically I just told my ‘student' that her boyfriend is going to break her heart," I yammered and for a brief moment, my friend looked like a deer in the headlights, "She didn't even believe me! She didn't believe me, Ash. And quite frankly, that kind of hurt."

"Well, I'm not exactly sure what happened, but she ran out crying. Crying, Ethan. She got hurt too. Can you imagine how that must have felt like? I certainly can't, but that doesn't mean you can just corner her like a mouse. Then pounce on her with the truth," she breathed out. Her voice was calm and she folded her arms around her torso, but she didn't budge from her current position which was blocking my way. I'm not sure what she was thinking or what I was, but I just sighed and returned to my tired looking state. "Well at least I told her the truth about Jason," I muttered out.  

The next thing I felt was the aftereffect of her hand striking my left cheek.

I got slapped.

She slapped me!

Ashley just freaking slapped my cheek...


 "Feeling better?"she piped up and smiled. She just slapped me and now she was smiling. I really don't understand women, right now.

I looked up at her (from my bending position because of the slap). My eyes went wide for a moment before I straightened up and eyed her strangely. "Was that needed?" I barked at her, but she shrugged, as if nothing was wrong and said, "Kind of. I needed to knock some sense into you. Literally, you know?"


I half scoffed and half laughed at that, and shoved myself back into the brick column. running my hands through my hair. "Yeah, thanks for that, really. Did its work though..." I sighed and smiled a bit, looking down at my short statured friend. But really -- what was with her and hitting me?

Ashley didn't stop grinning and kindly put her hand on my shoulder. What a strange gesture coming from her. "Listen, deary. How about you, Brandon, and me go for some pizza right now because I'm pretty sure my brother is watching cheerleader practice. And after that, we'll talk about crazy person before she comes back and throws a slushie at you," she offered thoughtfully.

I nodded weakly. That sounded dreadfully good right now...

The End

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