Camilla and Alyssa sat with me in the waiting area of the clinic. I was clutching tight to Camilla’s hand; she had taken mine in hers, knowing I’d need the comfort. I looked across at her and she gave me one of her beautiful smiles before turning back to look at the door. I felt a bead of sweat trickle down the side of my face and my heart beat faster. I shook my head and returned my gaze there too.
The door opened and the doctor stepped through carrying a chart in his hand. He spotted us and walked across. “Great news Mia, there is no trace of any sexually transmitted diseases. You are perfectly healthy”. I smiled.
“Really” he said. “But I do have to offer my advice and inform you that there are people here you can talk to if you need to; people who will listen to anything you have to say. You’ve been through a traumatic experience, and we are all here to help”.
“Thanks Doc” I said. He handed me some leaflets and smiled before returning to his office. I stood and the girls stood with me. Alyssa hugged me first, and then Camilla pulled me into her arms, wrapping them around me and spinning me in a circle. I buried my head in her shoulder and held on; hugging her tight, even after we stopped spinning. She beamed at me when we finally parted.
“This is great news Mia!” she said.
“That fucker didn’t give you anything” Alyssa added.
“I know” I said, smiling.
“We have to go celebrate!” Camilla said.
“What were you thinking?” I asked.
“How about we go for a drink tonight?” she asked.
“I… I don’t know” I said.
“We’ll go to a gay bar” she said, “and you don’t have to have alcohol obviously. We’ll just go have a fun time with each other. We’ll be completely safe”.
“It might be good to let off some steam” Alyssa said, “just take it easy”.
“Yeah… Okay I guess” I said. “I’m not 18 though”.
“Don’t worry that won’t be a problem”.
“Are you sure?”
They both walked me home from the clinic and said goodbye at the door; arranging to meet me at Camilla’s at eight that evening. The day passed quite slowly. At five I sat down for dinner with my parents; a meal we ate in steely silence. I didn’t make eye contact with either of them as I devoured my spaghetti bolognaise, and as soon I was finished I left the table without excusing myself. I went upstairs and into my room, locking the door behind me. I took my hair down out of its bun and watched in the mirror as it fell to my shoulders. I smiled. I liked my hair; it was my best feature.
My room had an en-suite bathroom which I entered and began to undress. I turned on the speaker in the corner and plugged in my iPod, hitting play on my Biffy Clyro Playlist. Once I was naked I stepped into the shower and turned it on. I could still feel the dirt inside me; but at least I could clean the outside. The hot water felt wonderful on my skin as I washed every inch. I ran my hands through my shampoo soaked hair and then stood under the stream of water for a further five minutes; letting it soak me.
Eventually I stepped out from beneath the showerhead and turned it off. I went to the mirror and began to dry my hair; looking at the rest of my body in the reflection. I didn’t like what stared back. I was nowhere near as beautiful as Camilla. Her body was stunningly beautiful, while mine was not. It was no wonder I’d never had a boyfriend.
I went back into my room and rooted in my wardrobe; pulling out my black Biffy Clyro t-shirt and a short black skirt. I put on my purple lingerie and then pulled the t-shirt and skirt on over it and went to the mirror. I looked like I was ready for a concert; not a bar. By the time I had applied a quick dap of eye shadow my phone told me it was half past seven. I went downstairs and left the house without saying goodbye to my parents and made the short journey to Camilla’s. I was early but I knocked anyway. Her mother answered the door.
“Hello Mia” she said. “You look very pretty” she said.
“Thanks Mrs Roberts” I said, smiling.
“Come on in dear. Camilla will be down in a few minutes” she said. I accompanied her into the sitting room and sat on the armchair nearest the door, crossing my legs and staring at the floor. “I think I can hear her now”. Sure enough, the sound of footsteps on the stairs came from the hallway.
Camilla entered the room and smiled when she saw me. “Hey Mia!” she said, pulling me to my feet and hugging me. She was wearing tight leather pants that outlined her bottom and a small white tank top that revealed the lower rim of her purple bra beneath. Her mom gave her a disapproving look but didn’t comment.
“Have fun girls” she said.
“Alyssa texted me and said she’d meet us at the bar” Camilla said as she dragged me by the hand from the sitting room and out into the hall. She just stopped to pick up her bag and then we were out the door into the night.