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Midnight visitor

Much later, in darkness, I was awakened by the shocking touch of a blade pressing into my neck.

    "Where is he?" a voice demanded. "Malcolm Reiffert. We know he passed this way."

    "Gone," I said as loudly as I was able, lying still and frozen. They were soldiers, packed close in the small room, holding torches that smoked and cast an orange glow, shading the face of my interrogator and making him appear inhuman.

    "Gone where?"

    "To the mountains."

    "Did he say anything! Anything at all. Speak!"

    "Only something about a message," I croaked. "He did not tell me what it was."

    "If you're lying to me I'll pin you to this bed and you'll die choking on your own blood."

    I believed him. His face was impassive; killing was a job to him. His working day. I believed that he would kill me and would not hesitate, and would repent it no more than I would repent of swatting a fly that buzzed over my plate. I could feel my heart racing in fear, my hands clammy and trembling.

    "I am not lying."

    The point of his blade moved slightly on my skin as he turned to his men. I felt a stinging and a warmth as blood welled and ran down my neck. It was all I could do not to shudder. I had never known so utterly, my choice stolen from me, that I wanted to live.

    "We'll stay here tonight," he told his men. "Gilson, Denning; prepare the camp. And you," he addressed me. "Get up!" He stepped back as he spoke, lowering the sword and gesturing to me to rise.

    I got to my feet, gasping as I put my hand to the cut on my neck, pulling the hand away again with a curse. My fingers were stained rusty red, but though it stung it was only a shallow cut. Nothing but a scrape, a scratch that would heal. Even so I couldn't help picturing the sword flying up to slice deep, and my throat tightened.

    "Which way!" the captain barked. "Which way into the mountains. Did he go North? East?"

    "You need not chase him," I said. "He'll be exposed again tonight. The mountain passes are treacherous - it's likely all you'll find will be his corpse."

    "Treacherous are they?" he said. "Lucky for us we have a local to guide us." He grinned suddenly, showing broken and yellowed teeth

    "But," I said, meaning to add I did not know the way.

    "You'd rather die then?" he interrupted.

    I subsided perforce, thinking bitterly that if the weather didn't kill us all, he would have his sword at my neck soon enough. It hadn't yet snowed, but further up there would be traces of frost and who could predict when the first storm would come? Two of the soldiers dragged me roughly outside to the woodshed, where they tied me and left me. No doubt there was a sentry outside, to see I didn't escape them. They were overestimating me, or underestimating the strength of the knotted ropes that bit into and burned my wrists and ankles.

    There was no comfort, only shivering cold. I waited in misery and slept little, waking often as splinters and sticks and logs tortured me through the long night, bruising and punishing me for every movement. I was jolted awake near dawn, glimmers of gray light filtering through chinks in the roof. Something was happening outside, but all I could hear was muffled voices and the tramp and squelch of their boots. I sat and listened for a long while until the door was forced open and I was dragged out into the cold brightness.

    Standing between the two soldiers I shuddered with cold, my fingers and toes numb, as I saw in silent fury what they had done. My careful, ordered garden had been ravaged, the last of my winter crops ripped up in clotted handfuls. Everywhere the ground was churned and spoiled by heavy, careless boots. If I survived, by some miracle, I would be returning to starvation.

    Seeing the wisdom of having me fit to lead them, they allowed me to dress, freeing my ankles. My wrists were loosed and then tied again in front and I was given bread and water from my own stores. Pitiful; that I had to be given sustenance from my own supplies by the thieves who had stolen them.

    They had two trackers, who went ahead of us as we set off, searching the ground. I stumbled along, my feet still numb. The soldiers surrounded me, silent mostly, speaking only when it was essential. I cursed Malcolm Reiffert, and cursed myself still more for bringing him into my home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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8 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

Just Chatting
somebodysomeday83 "Lol Seldom, there's nothing wrong with that. There are some books which I've read several times!
I know what you mean about being tired. I keep meaning to post more, but end up falling asleep at my laptop, and then the next day someone calls round to see me and I get nothing written. So frustrating!
I appreciate what you said about grounding this one and keeping it real. You certainly have. That's probably something I could work on... writing a straight scene, with no delving into the character's thoughts! I can do this of course - it's a writer's suicide to wander off too frequently.
I really did enjoy this, and think that you certainly have a career ahead of you! I would to read more, even just another chapter :) All though, as it's your actual manuscript I understand if you prefer to keep it close-to-you-chest!
"
Just Chatting
seldom "Hey, I thought I posted a comment here yesterday. Lol I must have been so tired I didnt press post comment!
Thanks for reading SS, and really glad you enjoyed. I'm working v hard at this to make it real - to ground it, so that when weird stuff begins to happen it's that much more shocking and vivid.
It's not all soldiers and marching, but there are battles and so on later on. I'm not to bad at describing battle scenes lol. There's some I think are great - like Raymond Feist's description of the battle of Armengar in 'Darkness at Sethanon' I think - although it might be a different book. I've read that scene six/seven times. And now I'm going to stop going on about it before I show myself up to be the ultimate geek.
:)
"
Just Chatting
somebodysomeday83 "Seldom... Wow! And you say you're half way through this one? You're certainly no one-trick-pony, over the past week I've seen you write in various different genres and styles. Every piece well-written and a joy to read. I'm particularly enjoying this story, John is not only believable, his mind-set is pleasurable...
'I would do the minimum required but no more, and if he died then so be it.'
I smiled when I read that. It gives a good insight into John's character. At the same time, it's 'almost' as if he's convincing himself he's less caring than he really is, as further reading suggests he in fact cares about this man's welfare.
Anyhow, in all honesty I've watched a fair few Sharpe and Horn Blower episodes in my time, and the idea of writing such a story which is motivated by soldiers, battles, and trekking across foreign lands, would intimidate me a great deal. Partly because the sub-genre isn't my usual read, and also because it would involve a great deal of research on my part, as my knowledge is limited and history isn't one of m favourite subjects (that's not to say I don't find antiques and particular periods interesting - I do.)
You comment that it's 'sort of slow', but as you say it's a novel. Novels can't be hurried. Please post more, I'm loving it! ;) I'm going to work on that chapter now I've been promising, lol. Also, let me add, that for a sub-genre which I wouldn't normally read, you've managed to keep me interested. Now that's a skill!
"
Just Chatting
seldom "Yep it's sort of slow. But it is supposed to be a book. Also there are things I want to change, thought I'd put it up to see if anyone could help me out.

'cold steel' - that goes for a start!
"
Just Chatting
seldom "want to rate it btw?

lol
"
Just Chatting
seldom "Thanks ;)

It's trad fantasy of course. But one with a lot of darkness - sort of brooding was the atmosphere I was going for. Glad you find John believable - thanks!
if you wanted to add to this - be my guest. Would be great!
Sometimes were darkness is implied rather than shown, it is that much more effective don't you find?
"
Just Chatting
Faltarego "This is intriguing. Your set-up is almost palpably dark, and being no stranger to darkness of mind myself, I find you point-of-view character believable and oddly sympathetic. Someone with that kind of world-view would definitely be fun to play with (not literally, of course, but in a writing kind of way)."
Just Chatting
seldom "oh how dumb. I just commented on overuse of commas and I'm doing the exact same thing here.

lol
"

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