I knew Kobie was one of a kind by the way I could tell her everything about my life. I would of never dared tell a girl this much about my life, she was the first person to know any of this apart from Kelvin and Lewis. The moon had come out for the night and watched over us as the others slept and me and Kobie spoke.
“why was it so bad? I thought orphan homes were supposed to be friendly and safe” she said softly
“so did I and it was, until my second year there. That’s when it started to change and everything I thought I knew flew out of the window” I replied quietly
“your not telling me everything Caleb” she said
“there’s certain things I don’t think you should know, it’s too depressing and I wouldn’t put that on someone”
“it really doesn’t bother me Caleb, there’s a lot I’m holding back too but I’m here to get to know you and I intend on doing so” she said quietly. I looked into her eyes and knew I could trust her except something was holding me back and I didn’t quite know what it was.
“it was just a disgusting place Kobie, the walls were grubby, the kids were dirty and I ended up like one of those kids. I never understood why they were always down and depressed, it always had me wondering what was so bad in their lives. Then in my second year I finally found out and if I could turn back time, man I would turn it back so far that those kids wouldn’t of experienced what they did” I said softly “every last bit of anger and hurt in their lives, I wish I could of taken it away but I only ended up being in that same situation. The hurtful memories every one of those kids have is all down to the women who ran that place. A place where kids are supposed to feel safe and accepted and loved was really a place that was full of hurt and darkness. Every corner I turned, I was awaiting what I would face and was in constant fear”
Kobie watched me quietly and listened so well I could almost hear her eardrums drumming. She looked at me with sympathy and asked another question.
“what was so bad? Your not telling me everything Cay” she said quietly. I looked at the ground for a second then back up to her face.
“we were all individually sexually assaulted. It scarred each and every one of us for life, everyday for 8 years I was living in constant fear and never felt so alone in my life. I only found out how wrong it was when I left that place and ended up with my mum”
She stared at my face then moved closer towards me. She got hold of my hand and looked in my eyes.
“I’m so sorry, you’re a much stronger person than I will ever be and I envy you for that, you’re an amazing person Caleb. Did you not have a sense of it being wrong inside?” she asked softly
“how could I, I was only 9 years old. I still believed in the tooth fairy at that age, how was I to know what was wrong and right? I was told that I liked it, that I enjoyed everything about that place. I don’t think anyone apart from Kelvin knows just how much anger I have inside for those women. Every inch of me wants to hurt them as they still take in kids for adoption”
She looked at me sympathetically and said quietly.
“fuck and I thought my life was bad”
I had no idea why she swore but it made me feel good.