ResolutionMature

You again. 

Taking over my thoughts. 

My motions. 

Breathing stopped.

Heart pounding.

The world reeling. 

My mind freezes.

I struggle.

Struggle to hide the effects.

I reel it in, hiding my shaking hands.

My stomach rapidly goes up and down. 

My every fiber trembling.

Calm down. 

I will not allow this to be another failure.

I cannot allow this to be a failure. 

Relax. 

Take a breathe.

Slowly the effects leave my body.

But I cannot be rid of you.

Your trying to get back in my head. 

I think back. 

Back to when I last saw you in my head.

With hesitation. 

But I can't help it......

I hid what I was feeling.

Running.

Struggling.

Hiding.

I do not cry.

I cannot cry. 

My heart bursted into flames, then died within me.

The smolders of what could have been. 

What was. 

Shame written on my arms.

My legs the red color of guilt.

My face.......perfection. 

I hid it all. 

So perfectly.

Shake it off. 

Don't go back there.

Tonight it will be different.

I will talk. 

I will not allow him to take over. 

He will not win.

Tonight, will be a victory.

Must be a victory. 

Because I know what to do.

Something different.

I will run to Him. 

The perfect Him.

Bury my tear filled eyes in His arms.

His unending love beaconing me. 

His arms forever open to me.

My trust will be found in Him.

Flip-flops within me from anxiety.

The pain. 

I will give it to You.

To the one who will never abuse me.

Never abuse my emotions.

My thoughts.

My trust.

You gently come in. 

Take me by the hand. 

Where I will forever hide in the shadow of your wing. 

Away from the worry.

The anxiety. 

The pain. 

Away from the burdens of this world. 

My heart soars.

Happiness in the midst of pain.

Trust in the midst of distrust. 

Smiling.

Because I know you've got this in your gentle hands.

I will trust you continually. 

For you are my Abba Father.