I wish R.I.P meant "Return if possible" but no, it means they're gone and they're never going to come back so you get to sit there in misery and loathing and wishing everyday you could have saved them and that you could have been there and that you'd talked more, and that you'd known period. But you can't, not ever, you can't hear them call you whatever nickname they had for you, you can't go over and spend the night, you can't do anything anymore, because they're gone and the only thing you have left is this self loathing because you didn't save them, this little spot of hatred that grows, and you suffer with everyone else like that, because that is life. Life is that stupid piece in chess that calls checkmate, so you are stuck living the rest of your life like this, missing them so terribly with an ache in your chest, that you could bring them back, but there's really nothing you can do. So what does dying feel like? It can be very painful as it happens, but in the last few moments, there is bliss. Simplicity. All is good, and you have nothing to worry about. THAT is what death is like. Death is like being stuck in nothing.