The droplets tumble out of their silver beds, to awake my skin. It's like being tickled by explosives crafted only of untainted purity. They sing in harmony with the damp earth beneath my bare feet. My toes start to wiggle to the rhythm, gradually my hands follow. My entire body is twirling, before the realization crushes every trace of my smile.
Blood, is what brought me here, and it's what I see now. I open my shaking hands to release the rusted shards of what used to be her. I lie on the floor, tears refusing to come and wash away the wreckage, I lie there utterly alone. There was no one who could possible understand who it is I am.
Denial slips out of my guilty fists, leaving me venerable to what is real.
Everyone fails to notice the absence of her. Truth is, I miss her. But those are inefficient words to describe the gorge of emptiness growing inside me. As soon as I realized I wanted to resurrect her, was the moment they realized I “Needed Help”. They cemented her grave, with the fistfuls of medications they choke me with, twice daily. My fingers and toes fail to count the amount of times my face molded to the cruel bars holding me in this stale place. A white canvas holds nothing but potential, they say.
“Potential for my in and out sanities to paint, ” I would mock. Not even the stench was as miserable as the absence of her. Trust me, that's pretty miserable.
A decade of education wasted on the inability to listen, time gone studying prescriptions instead of solutions. I can almost hear her laughing at such ignorance, almost. I told myself to sit pretty and act accordingly.
I awoke, from an undisturbed slumber, my room seemed to have grown over night. I waited for the ritual music to great me with it's morning melody. Then I waited, and waited. Until I stopped waiting. As I walked to the cafeteria for my usual breakfast, everything held a strange clarity. Laughter came from smiling faces attached to familiar bodies, real bodies. I waited some more, but the silence became more profound. All was real. I cannot recall being more afraid then at that moment. Until..