Bugs and Rancid MilkMature


I peer at the pipe, ignoring Ellie's question for the moment. It's not very wide, about the width of my wrist, and I can hear the water gurgling gently inside. I smile ever so slightly, then turn back to Ellie.

"I need to find something really slimy. Really really slimy, and preferably exceedingly bad smelling."

Ellie looks confused, then it clicks. "Right. But it can't be too big to cause a backlog."

"Nope." I shake my head. "That would be a disaster. We just need something to scare them a bit... maybe a little more than a bit. Bugs perhaps,dead insects ... how about expired milk and bugs?"

"Sounds like a plan." says Ellie. "I'll go and find the milk, you get the bugs."

I nod, already planning the assortment of unpleasant critters I intend to inflict on the snobby duo. It's incredibly immature of me to be doing this, but it really is just too good an opportunity to pass up. We wolf down our breakfast at light speed, then we set off on our hunts for unpleasantries.

I head for the storage barns, always a favoured hiding place for all things multi-legged. I find a few large spiders, trapping them in an empty fuel container left by the barn door. Earwigs galore infest a pile of old firewood, the biggest soon joining the spiders in my collection. I cackle to myself, feeling delightfully spiteful. I can't wait to see Illiana or Aries' face when they come out of the shower ... you'll be able to hear the screams for miles.

"Right." I say. "Now I need grasshoppers. Lots and lots of grasshoppers..."

The End

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