"You're meant to lose the people you love. How else would you realize how much they mean to you?"
Once in a while, someone walks out of your life - it happens to the best of us, in various ways. The worst part is the hurt you experience after that loss. You spend many sleepless nights wondering where you went wrong and what you could've done to prevent it. I know now that most of the time, you don't deserve that hurt, and most of the time, it's not your fault. My philosophy? People always leave, unfortunately. That's when you realize how much they mean to you, and how you can set your mind to find somebody better.
In ironic situations, that person you haven't talked to in the past year and a half, does pop up. Alex, being an example of that. We used to talk all day, every day, until he started to act like a prick when he finally got a 'girlfriend.' I tried to explain to him that she was all hell on earth, but apparently he didn't understand - he dated her for a year and a half. Shitty part is, I gave him the girl advice without realizing that I liked him more than I should.
Well, fast forward to the present day, and here Alex is with his hand on my hip. "Oh, hi jerk," I rolled my eyes at him, debating whether I should stay and chat or go to class. Since everything happened, I can't really stand looking at him, even though he is freakishly adorable.
"Can I have a hug?" He takes his hand off my hip and extends his arms out to me. What the fuck is this? We aren't friends anymore, doesn't he know that? Why would he want a hug? I refuse to be one of the many girls that fall all over him. I made that mistake once, not going back. "No, you can't." Spinning on my heel, attempting to walk the long way to class, I could hear him following close behind me. "C'mon Jess, talk to me." I stop walking and face him,
"Why? It's been a year and a half. You didn't care. You chose to cut me out of your life when you promised that you wouldn't." Alex sighed, holding his arms out to me again, "I know, I'm sorry. Just one hug can't hurt, right?" Yes, it sure as hell could. If I let him hug me, it could bring up a lot of unpleasant memories.
Ugh. He's the kind of person that makes me want to punch a dolphin in the mouth. But as usual, I decide to be the mature one and step towards him, letting his arms envelope me against his solid chest. Awkward hugs aren't the greatest, but to be honest, I was getting a bit intoxicated from his cologne. "You really hurt me, you know. I liked you, a lot. " My voice is muffled against his sweater, and I hope to god that I don't cry. I hate being emotional, especially towards a guy like Alex. "I like you too. I miss you." He pulls me in tighter. Wait a minute - he likes me? Bullshit.
The bell rings for class, so I pull away, "Find a way to make it up to me then. I gotta go." I could see his eyes widen, and a smile play on his lips before I turned for class. Striding quickly towards math, I wonder how things were going to change. I wonder if he'll end up cutting me out again. All things in the future I suppose - time will only tell.