I lay awake for almost the whole night, tossing and turning trying to figure out what to do next. I was going to die.
I thought about all I would miss.
Prom, getting dressed up with Heidi, seeing her smile and the slight chance that Robert would want to go with me. Learning to drive. Getting my degree, seeing my dad's face alight with pride. Getting married. Holding my children. I would miss that the most. Not to mention all the people I would meet and help.
Just two months to cram a whole lifetime in. But I didn't know where to begin. I wanted to have as full a life as everyone else, but I was not done with being a kid. I still wanted to have no responsibility, to run around, to laugh through my lessons. I wanted my friends.
All I knew was that I could not bring more pain on my already failing body. It was then I made my decision to die a death as naturally as I could. I would refuse all chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments. That way I could go as God intended and I would not be ill for the few months it would give me.
Now the only problem was going to be telling mum that I didn't want any treatment.
Oh, and I still had to tell my friends.