The ClownMature

By this time, Randy was beyond the circulation of any newspaperand beyond caring about the lies..He andthe groupie –KittyMouser –hadleftset off in his sports carto find the way out this earthly madness. It had turned out she had an understanding of the dark matters too and they could enter the otherworld as a pair. There he would finally be able to confront the demon of Cleaverhook.

They both spoke to the gatekeeper. There was a test of ten questions which he had to answer correctly before he was let in. He did and he was cleared to drive through. “I do hope you know what you’re here for” the gatekeeper said when he waved him through. “Abandon hope and all that.”

This slightly unsettled him. Sadly it was far too late to return without facing his demons. His first thought about the town was how godforsaken it was. Of course it is, he reminded himself. This dimension held, somewhere, his greatest demon. He’d been looking for him since college, when he’d heard whispers that Cleaverhook had been banished from reality. For most people that would have been the end of it but his dreams had been full of his mocking voice and face since.


Once they were in the town another ugly creature stopped them. “Mr. Shagger?” he held back a smirk.

“It’s a stage name. What do you want?”

“I’m here to show you and your woman where you’ll be living for now.”  He stumbled along and Randy struggled to keep the car at his slow pace. “Don’t expect the same level of luxury here as you had at home, Mr. Vain-Arse Rock Star.” Kitty woke up and looked at the dwarf.

 “Stumpy, we’re going to my house.”  The dwarf bowed.

“Madam, I didn’t realise! Is he the one you went for?” She gave him a look of contempt and he shuffled awkwardly. “Drive on!”


Kitty’s house was an insanely decadent one. It was towering yet not imposing, but the steps to the front door would be a trek. He picked up a case to take them in, but the rest of his files and equipment flew to the front door.  She opened the door and they arranged themselves neatly in the hallway.

“In this dimension one isn’t limited by reality” she said, taking him up to the living room and getting him some coffee. “It took a lot of work to create this, but it’s worth it.” It was very comfortable and spacious, a sharp contrast to the grim setting outside.“I’d be very pleased to have you stay here until we’ve found or built you your own place.”

“Maybe I’ll just stay here.” It was a good house after all.

“Come down with me when you’ve finished that.”


She took him down in the lift and he knew it would be a party pad from just the start, where there was a hot tub in the foyer. “I’ve been looking for a house musician with a reason to come here for a long while.” She was busy finding the key to the basement. “So far I’ve had to rely on the sporadic talent in this town and there’s not much of that.”

He practically jazzed when she showed him in. It was his dream club, with a hookah and bar at the back, a dance floor and a stage.  

On the stage there was a full setup. Randy didn’t need to be told twice that he could go have a play on them. He hadn’t so much as held a guitar for two days and his fingers were starting to ache with frustration.

He felt an almost sexual release as he started playing. His fingers danced out a tune that reflected the pain and elation he’d just experienced. Kitty was stood under a spotlight and started stripping. When he noticed her he grabbed the microphone and started singing the crudest song he’d committed to memory.

She wrapped herself round the pole and slid round it. They’d had pole dancers join them before, but none had been as sexy as this one. They usually had terrible faces, covered in too much make-up and damaged by years of abuse.

Her thighs were somehow strong enough to hold her in place on the pole while she slipped off her top. His cock stiffened but he felt compelled to finish the song. They were banned from singing this one in any venue, due to the content. He hadn’t seen what was so bad about raping prostitutes, but maybe he just had a dark mind.

Kitty rolled gracefully off the pole and worked her knickers off before re-mounting it. “You’re so fuckin’ sexy!” he screamed, flinging the guitar aside and rushing to grab her oiled tits. He rubbed his face all over her chest and enjoyed just feeling her, the firstresponsivewoman he’d had in months. She rolled him onto his back and got his trousers off. In reward for this he plunged his cock into her throat. She welcomed him in, even forced him in further by clinging to his buttocks. When she came up for air he rolled onto his back.

She slid over him, straddled him. He clawed at her back blindly but she was firmly on control of them both, eventually sliding right onto him.


He rummaged through his bag for some paper. Maybe scribbling something down would help. It had always helped him in the otherworld, having his thoughts in words where they couldn’t be lost.

Now he was here, he had to finalise his plan. The books had warned him that he would face others – some good, some bad – before he got to face his nemesis. He looked through the comprehensive guide he had compiled through study and took notes.

“Did you get your leg over last night, Mr. Shagger?” the dwarf sniggered, having launched himself into the house without being asked in.

“My name’s Randall Portcollis. What’re you after?”

“You have to come meet the boss, see if he likes you. Get the sleep out your eyes and come along. Your missus can stay put, she’s already a member.” Randy stretched, clicked his shoulders back into place and followed his guide along the path.

“He’s always glad to meet new people” Stumpy told him as they walked. “He’s very sardonic, very dark. His missus is his anti-matter and she persuades him which way to go.”


The place was very, very dirty. Randy could smell it from half a mile away, being sick by the time they got to the front door. “You have such a weak stomach! I guess all those pumpings had to take their toll at some point.” Stumpy knocked on his own lower knocker and they waited. “He’s worse than your nightmare visions, be warned.” The door didn’t open instantly and Randy felt a little awkward waiting by the dwarf.

Randy went in first when the door opened., as instructed.The only thing he could do was keep walking and hope he really was prepared to face the Dark One.

He went along the corridor and into the lift. It was a pre-war elevator and he had to close both grills manually before he descended into the basement.“Enjoy your trip, Randy. I hope he’s gentle with you.”


Stepping from the elevator, he saw only a corridor with three doors leading off it at the end. He was totally confused by this and didn’t know which to pick. Stumpy had deserted him, so he couldn’t ask anyone. Suddenly the very end door opened and he walked forward, assuming he could enter. He wished he hadn’t when he saw what was in there.

One wall was entirely taken up by a grotesque throne, a horrid sculpture of a clown with three eyes, two noses and two mouths. On one of their tongues – the seats – a squat and ugly being was sat comfortably. He was made up as a clown, but defiantly not one you would let your children near. He wore a torn and filthy one-piece, held together by safety pins in some places. This clown appeared to be the source of the stink in the room, which was somehow worse than outside. Randy fell onto all fours and retched violently, hoping that there was enough there for it to not burn.

“Turn it down.” Randy had been so blinded by the stinking fog that he hadn’t noticed the being sat on the other seat. She was young, female and beautiful, radiating optimism from every pore. The thick fog disappeared and Randy was able to stand. “I’m sorry about that;,he’s been gorging on the unpleasantness from the pond the last few days. What brings you to Cateridge?”
“I have demons to face.” The bright woman looked him over a couple of times.
“You are Randall ‘Randy Shagger’ Portcollis, looking for Norbert Cleaverhook.” Randy shuddered at the name. “He harmed you as a child and you’ve been seeing you in your dreams. Kitty wanted to bring you here so you could face him, but before you can face him you have a test to complete.”
“What’s that?”
“Revenge for the way you treated women, Randall. You will father many daughters here and they will cause you worry.”
“But I don’t plan to father-“
“You didn’t plan to father William did you?” She knew him too well and they’d only just met. The mention of his son should have made him feel guilty, but in this strange place there was no room for guilt. “I know you and Kitty will eventually spawn daughters. There’s another woman you will procreate with here, but she’s not yet found you.”

“I don’t have years to spend raising them!”, Cleaverhook’s-!”

“You’ll find there’s no chronological order here. Your girls will be teenagers in the time it takes you to age a year.”



He returned in a dark mood. He wanted to shut out the world and locked himself in the basement to play something. The guitar sounded too light for his feelings and he held the bass, pondering. This or piano? He’d never played bass before but his fingers wanted to try it. Without really caring how he looked or sounded he plucked listlessly at the strings.



In the Otherworld, he had been living senselessly and recklessly up until William was born. He’d spawned two sons, but they would just grow up to be like their father if he’d been left to raise them. The birth of William had spawned the nightmares from his own childhood, and he became consumed with a need to come to terms with it.

Kitty had gone out searching for him. All of Norbert’s victims would be given the chance to face him; when he appeared in their dreams they were ready. She found him easier to obtain than some, but it still took a year to catch him. Kitty’s powers were only usable in Cateridge.

The End

0 comments about this story Feed