Strange Sculptures Suddenly Appear in British Parks

On Sunday the 13th of July 2008, the people of Glasgow were drawn into a ceremony; the sun was shining and Kelvingrove Park hummed with the beautiful singing voices of brides and grooms, dressed in white gowns. They filed through the wooded paths, begging onlookers to follow them, on to the lawns by the Botanic Gardens. 

In Newcastle a circle of couples, in the same white robes, surrounded the lake of Leezes Park. London, Birmingham, Edinburgh; Britain joined the world in song. It was new and instantly caught-up; ‘The words seemed as if they’d always been together.’ A London woman beamed at me; she was lost in a dream and hurrying towards something.

This reporter can only tell it from this side, but already reports are flying in from around the world. Britain is caught in this fever of happiness. I visited the sites above after the events and was stunned by the beautiful sculptures left behind. People are making their way to see them; word is spreading with the wind and the mood is ecstatic. I am very happy to announce that I am still obviously my cynical self and have not been affected by all this, change, yet. All of the sculptures are engraved:  Neophytes of the New Order Give Thanks for the Awakening.

   Now normally, I’d tell you to get down and see for yourself, but I hesitate; there’s something going on and I wouldn’t want to encourage anyone into danger – that’s exactly what I feel all around me; it’s in the very air I’m breathing. So don’t go out to your nearest park, stay inside and watch the TV. It’s dangerous out here!

   At this moment I'm in a helicopter, crossing London, and I can tell you that the streets are full of people, on the run; God knows what's going on inside their heads. You might say, 'What's wrong with a bit of happiness? Aren't we due some of that?' Yes, but this isn't ordinary euphoria, and I don't think it's in any way natural - well not to the British anyway. TV viewers, judge for yourself. My God, you'd think they were all on acid!

This is Terry Jones singing off, for now.

The End

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