Radiance: SixMature

(When the last breath leaves your lips, let me go with it.)

I was under constant surveillance for several days. Nurses tried to talk to me, smiling as they rambled about the weather and provided me with twice as many pills. I stopped going to group sessions, stopped going anywhere at all. I stopped caring whether the sun would rise or the stars would bleed through the black. I stayed in the pathetic bed of the pathetic room and tried to imagine how it might feel not to exist. Cold, I thought. I was cold as it was.

At the end of the week the doctor came in. He pulled a chair over to the bed, asked the nurse to leave. He sat down and stared at me for many long minutes without ever speaking. He had no clipboard, no pen, and no expression whatsoever. He might have been as vacant as I was becoming.

"Hello, Ryan," he said. There was no false happiness in his voice. I wondered if he too had realizes that happiness was a curse. When I made no response, he went on. "Ryan, I know this is all very hard for you. And I assure you there will be no record of this conversation. But I need you to tell me what happened that night."

My lashes brushed my cheek as I blinked. "Okay," I whispered eventually. "Please get me a piece of paper."

The End

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