Radiance: ThreeMature

(You promised forever.)

They told us that day we should think back. Somehow they thought it would help us cope. Mostly it just reminded us that where was a whole world going on while we were trapped in the concrete coffin we called home.

We were to write about something that made us happy. After all, wasn’t that the ultimate goal here? To draw some strength from the memories we held close? To let the light scare off the demons? I didn’t want to crush them by assuring them that my own demons weren’t going anywhere. In truth, they’d become more of my ally than anything. In a world where reality seemed so irrelevant, evil was the one thing I could be sure existed.

While the others in my group lowered their heads in concentration, I sat back to watch them. Every one of them had a past, a secret. Every one of them had a reason to want to leave it all behind. I wondered what they saw when they looked at me. Did they see the blood on my hands? Could they tell just how much it pained me to breathe?

I did not possess the answers to such questions. What I did know was this: if they were actually writing what the nurses had told us to, then they were getting a lot better than me. Because there was not one thing, within that prison or free from it, that could bring a smile to my face.

One of the nurses came over and gave me a stern look. "You need to cooperate, Ryan. These exercises will help you in the process of healing." I only stared at her blankly, looking down at me like she knew the secrets behind the whole damn universe. Then I picked up the pen and brought it to the paper.

Happiness is a curse, I wrote.

I was happy once, in the arms of an angel. Or…I thought she was. But then, didn’t the devil start out as the most holy? I guess that’s what people don’t understand. There is nothing evil adores more than good.

Rereading the poorly scrawled bit, I was not entirely disappointed. I was also very thankful for the pills in me that provided the barricade between our worlds. I didn’t want her to know how badly I wished I could forget.

The End

7 comments about this story Feed