VIIMature

VII :

 

            Juli awoke feeling better than he had in years! "Wonder what he sprayed on that marijuana?", he thought. Everything around him was pitch black, and even though it did not hurt anymore. His hand tingled from where he had burned himself. Recalling the lamp on the nightstand on the right side of the bed. He put his feet down on smooth, ceramic-like ground. Even though his feet had found purchase, his hand did not. There was nothing on either side of the bed, and all around him was darkness. "Hello? Hello!", he repeated to no one in particular. "Jesus, this can't be real."

            I appear out of thin air, and beside me is Rachel, a stunning brunette. The walls, positioned in an octagon and at least fifty meters from each other, begin to gradually give off light.  "Good morning, Jules. I do hope that you are feeling alright. Well, are you?", I ask. "Yeah, yeah... Feeling terrific, but who are you again, and what in the nine hells is this?", came Juli's reply. Taking a look around himself and blinking like there were flashes of light every other second. Then as he looks at his hands and arms, I take a nanosecond to dress him up properly. "Oh, what the fuck?!" Juli exclaims after noticing his attire.

"Relax, Juli. You are an angel now as I promised, just sit back and enjoy the ride until told to otherwise. This beautiful young lady beside me is Rachel. She's all of seventeen billion years old, give or take a few hundred mill. She looks better than she did twenty seven point eight four million years ago when she became my wife." Juli's jaw is hanging open as he stares at Rache baffled.

            "Let's go somewhere a bit more lively than this dump," and with a bat of my own eyelashes we are transported to Tjornuvic in the Faroe Islands (north of the UK and west of Norway). Standing in a night landscape with light streaming out of a nearby edifice. I realize that it is a lot colder than I expected it to be, and immediately conjure three jackets out of the nether. "Here you go Rache and Juli." I murmur towards my companions. "Even though those of us with a little time under our belts do find the cold invigorating. Poor Juli thinks that he's in a refridgerator right now. We will only be outside for another what Rachel?"

"About two more minutes now," came Rachel's melodically instantaneous response.

            So, I put my hands in my pockets, and out comes a cigarette and a lighter for Juli. "Oh man, you read my mind!", came his hushed reply. "No, you just thought of smoking when you saw the cigarette. You cannot fool a telepath, Juli.", I reckoned. I could no longer read Juli's mind, but the poker player in me knew a bluff when faced with one. Wondering why in the universe they were both speaking so quietly. I lay all my cards on the table and ask in a severe tone, "What are you two whispering about, the only people about are inside!" With the sounds still vibrating in the cold, dark air. The front door opens and out walks Rachel. She looks around, sees us, and starts walking our way.

            I can imagine Juli's thoughts as he looks from Rachel to the other Rachel and back to Rachel. The Rachel that just came out of the building walks up to us and says, "Hi! Bye!", and disappears into thin air.

"That was absolute schizophrenia, wasn't it, boys?", the only Rachel left asks. To which I reply, "I should've figured that you were that talented, Rachel. Only, why did we never try that trick in more subtle places?". To which Rachel replies, "I don't know, babe. I've never imagined sharing you with anyone, even myself... Anyhow, we'll discuss this another time, in better circumstances. Now, let's go get Jin."

            Juli's about two thirds  of the way done with his cigarette, and still puffing away. "Juli, don't toss out your cigarette. Just follow us." And he nods as if he understands, which I suppose he does in his dazed mindframe. As I stand there holding the door open for the two of them. A chill runs down my spine, figuratively, when I notice Juli letting Rachel go first and then checking out her ass as she does. As I let go of the door, I smack Juli upside the head semi-lightly, "Don't even think about it, young blood.", I warn him. "Sorry, man, force of habit," came his reply as we step inside a sauna like atmosphere of heat along with cigarette smoke.

            Rachel leads them to the table she was sharing with Jin and sits down. I sit next to my Rachel, and Juli sits down next to Jin. "Hello Jin, I am Dan. Rachel's my wife, and this here is Juli.", I announce.

            "Heya Dan, I was starting to take a liking to ... your wife. But then she got me drunk, and I forgot all about asking about her personal life. Hell, I even forgot her name. A lot of things have happened to me today, and I've lost track of where my thoughts are or should be. Oh, don't mind me, I'm just as drunk as a skunk." To which I snap my fingers and state, "And now you aren't because I can't abide that devil water. Used to just make me do or say stupid things, but now it just tastes funky."

            "Juli and Jin, do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?" To which both assent that "Yes, hearing you loud and clear", Juli. Then, "Reading you five by five Charliehorse", Jin.

            "Alright, let me begin by congratulating you two, and welcoming you to the afterlife, so to speak. No, you are not dead, but you, Jin, are getting older by the second. Juli is undergoing the transition to a more suitable form. While you, Jin, just believe that you've poisoned yourself with alcohol and are dead. The question remains, though, how did you manage to ingest that much alcohol in prison, and why are you not light headed anymore?" Jin just sits there dumbfoundedly realizing that he isn't drunk anymore. "Wait a second, Dan, how the hell am I not buzzed? I must've drank ten martinis by now.", Jin inquires of me. "Haha, the same way that...", I make a subtle motion of my right shoulder transporting all four of us, "we are now in my "office"." And sure enough, when Jin and Juli look around they are surrounded by books and paintings, instead of drunk Icelanders. Everything is quiet and serene, as well.

The End

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