Life is ... funnyMature

IV :

Jin'Mei Kim was operating on cruise control now. He had hacked in to the Scientology website, and was changing the text of the pages. Mainly to show how ridiculous the whole Scientological concept was. He had nothing better to do... He was on Disability for his car crash on July 16th, 2010. Now, just for his magnum opus. His masterpiece! To write on the main page about how L. Ron Hubbard and H.G. Wells had a bet that Ron couldn't start a religion. He was also inserting links to his own website about a religion that he, himself, was starting. Jin had read the Bible at least three times front to back, and the New Testament alike about twenty times. Jin wouldn't call himself a Christian, completely. His grandmother whom he had been living with since he was eight had tried to push it on him too hard. And he just couldn't agree with Apostle Paul's latter writings in the New Testament. The Gospels of Jesus Christ did have a certain ring of truth to them. Jesus' sayings were very much alike to what all religions taught. Though, the change from the Old to the New Testaments was too dramatic for Jin to accept a God who was so whimsical as to change his Modus Operandi. Having studied most religions in the world after his accident. From Christianity and Islam to Buddhism and Taoism. He had amalgamated the concepts in his head, and still lacking a perfect religion to call his own. He decided to create a web site advocating a new religion. One that combined most of the concepts that God had given man to ponder. After all, all religions believe in virtually the same thing, to do unto others as you would have done unto you. Although, he had not yet studied Hinduism. Which, to him, had too many gods, and was too daunting a task to decipher.  He believed that he could open some eyes of people who, like him, found current religions lacking. Being a firm believer in some sort of Higher Lifeform. He decided to do his part in educating the people who hadn't the time to study themselves. He believed that all imagination came from this Higher Being, and that all books were the keys to unlocking exactly what the Religious Scriptures had stated previously. So, he had been reading fictional books, from Aldous Huxley to Nora Roberts and Stephen King. He really enjoyed Stephen King's writings... Back to his current endeavour: He didn't really have much more to say. Really, if people wanted to believe works written by a science-fiction writer who knows how to create worlds, much less religions. Let them... He just wanted to open up a few rich eyes to what his own research inquiries had discovered. "Oh shit on a rock!" he thought. Someone had blocked his access to the site, and was currently tracing his IP address. Good he had used, which routed his true location to several places around the world. Well, he had tried! There was nothing more that he could do other than shut down his computer, and go make some dinner for himself and his eighty-nine year old grandmother.  Now, Jin wasn't much of a cook. He just read recipes gotten from the internet. If there was something that he liked he experimented with it to get just the right taste. With this being Monday, he had to start all over with a new recipe for the week. This week was Baba ganoush, an eggplant dish from the Middle East. And so, he had to get some eggplants and dried cumin from the store. Changing his house pants to something thicker, and throwing on a shirt. He dashed for the door forgetting to tell his grandmother that he was leaving. As soon as he stepped out of his doorway though. Three police cars pull up! "Oh no, hopefully they aren't here about my pot plant in the backyard," he thought. Two muscular officers came out of each car, and drew their guns. Hunkering down by their respective doors. They pointed their guns at Jin who threw his hands up without another thought. "Freeze! You are under arrest. Are there any more people in the house?" one of the officers yelled out. Jin, shocked, quietly replied, "Just my grandmother who's old." After cuffing Jin, and throwing him in the back of the car. Three of the officers go around to the back door, and the rest storm in through the front door which was already half open. With one officer staying back by the car that Jin was in. Jin hectically thought to himself, "What in the nine heavens have I done now?" And tried to get more comfortable with the handcuffs digging into his wrists. After ten more minutes, an ambulance pulls up to the house. "Oh Jesus, Jesus, Jesus." Jin was beside himself with agony. Three minutes later, as the EMT people come out of the house with a stretcher rolling in between them. A corpse with a white sheet on top of it lying on the stretcher. "Oh fuck, you fucking pigs! Why did you have to come here and give my grandmother a heart attack!?!" Jin screamed through the plexiglass at the officer that was left by his car.  Sitting on the Harris County Jail's concrete bench. Jin was in torment for his grandmother. "Jin Kim, get over here so we can take a picture." the officer clerk behind the desk said. "Just what is it that I've done, sir?" Jin replied."Let me pull up your records." was the reply. "Says here you were arrested for terrorism. You're screwed!""And so I seem to be," Jin said downheartedly. "But I didn't do anything having to do with terrorism, officer. I've barely left my house in the past month!""That's what your record says, go deal with it at court."And so, Jin shuffled his feet to stand in front of the camera, took his picture, and caught the orange pants and shirt that were handed to him by a young individual about his age. Walking through the jail behind another officer. Jin was crying about his grandmother and his current predicament. They passed a lot of doors, and finally came up to another one. The officer with Jin spoke into his walkie-talkie, and the door in front of them began to slide open. "Fresh fish, here fishy fishy..." went the chorus from inside. 
V :  Smack went a fist against Jin's open-eyed face. Then came another and another. Yet he refused to fight back... Thinking himself to be just like Jesus Christ. Jin literally turned the other cheek, again and again. These three assholes had ganged up on him, and the guards were doing nothing. Jin wasn't yelling, screaming, nor anything to fight off the attacks. Not to mention doing anything to warrant the attacks in the first place. That was his first morning in Harris County Jail. The next day was worse for him. He had tried to get help from the guards. Only to have his face smashed against the plexiglass by one of his assailants, and having the guards turn their heads just as Jin was turning the other cheek. On the third day, he fought back. Jin was of small stature, to say the least. Five foot eight and a hundred and forty pounds soaking wet. So, he did not put up much of a fight, but it got the a-holes to look for an easier, fresher target. That's life, you don't know why you're in jail, your only family is dead, you get your ass beat, and you go on. A very enlightened approach to life on Jin's part... As one week passed, Jin finally went to court for the first time to be told by his public defender only an offer by the District Attorney of seven years. To simply get an explanation of why he was in jail was above the Public Defender's paygrade apparentely. So Jin picked up a Bible, and started reading the scripture again and again. With nothing to do but play chess, or read the Bible. Life was ... exciting.  After a month, he went to court again and hearing an offer of six years. Jin needed a lawyer, this one wouldn't even explain his charges. The public defender was handling like at least twenty other cases. Which would explain why Jin was being blatently ignored, but this was his life on the line here. Life was ... unfair. Back in his tank, i.e. his prison cell with the other inmates. Jin was passing time pretty comfortably. He played a pretty good chess game, and was getting better by the day. The trick was to plan ahead, and almost all inmates cannot plan further than the next meal.  Along comes the behemoth to spoil Jin's peaceful daily existence. His name was Bailey... All you needed was his last name because respect is everything in jail. Funny thing is that he did not respect you back. It wasn't the first time in jail for Bailey by far, but he seemed to like it. If not for the fact that Bailey made Jin wash his underwear, write all his letters, and even wipe the toilet seat whenever Bailey wanted to take care of his business. Being the smallest guy in a jail cell had it's drawbacks, and life was ... peachy. Jin was fine with it, for about four days. Then Bailey told Jin that he was to be his bitch, and would take it every day after lights out. That was not alright with Jin, but he played the part well for the two hours that it took him to come up with a plan. The only thing he had for a weapon was this razor blade from the ones that they sold on commissary. So he slipped back to his bunk. Waited until Bailey was distracted with someone else, and broke apart 3 more razors with the intention of severely lacerating his adversary. It worked in Jin's mind at least. When he actually went to go slash Bailey's face... That didn't work too well. Jin grazed him with the razor blades in his fist, then came Bailey's fists, and boy did they hurt. For what seemed like hours, the watchmen let the beatdown continue. When they actually intervened, Jin's face was a bloody pulp. His nose was broken, his jaw dislocated, and 3 teeth knocked out. Bailey knew what he was doing not hitting on any of the major organs.  The guards took Jin away. Threw him into a cell where he could at least asses the damage to his face. As he was checking himself out in the metal mirror, his door pops open. Five guardsmen walk in and without a word proceed to work Jin over. The first guard throws Jin on the floor, and all five of them start kicking Jin with their steel-toe boots. "Jesus, I am gunna die tonight!", Jin's enlightened mind blurts out the single quote. The next morning, Jin was moved to Administrative Segregation. A small cell, but it was a small cell that he could call his own! After living in Texas for the past 21 years. Jin knew what the mentality of this great state was. If you're foreign, have a weird sounding name, and were arrested for terrorism all do not bode well. But at least Jin was content again. He had many wounds, but no big nasty scars, and just three broken teeth. Life was ... dandy. After three weeks in that small, lonely cell. Jin actually started playing chess again by yelling out piece positions under his door. He couldn't even finish a game though because of his jaw. So he just sat, stared at walls, and thought... Turned his mind towards Jesus, and praise the lord, didn't get any answers. His main query and quite the quandary was Jesus' statement in Revelation 22:18. Jesus plainly states in that passage that He is the bright, and shining morning star. Why would Jesus equate Himself to Heylel, or Lucifer in Latin. When it was He, Himself, who likened Satan to that same title. He just could not figure it out, and then it happened. As he was talking to "Solo", one of his chess buddies, he discovered that Solo was taking a correspondence course on Siddha Yoga. This was perfect! Something to take his mind away from his dilemma, and a chance to study an Indian religion. And the next chow time, Jin actually received five courses. He could not put them down... He was to the fourth course, and was amazed at how true they sounded. Siddha Yoga appeared to be the religion he'd been searching for. The courses just made so much sense that he needed to reread a passage six times to realize another one of it's meanings. He will definetely read up on Siddha Yoga when he had the chance. The five correspondence letters were enough to get him on a different mental plane though. He had sent his ego on a one way trip to non-existance. Jin was going to court about every two months, and still had not gotten an explanation of his charges. Life was ... baffling. In his cell, away from everyone, Jin meditated. His mind had become calm and serene about a month or so after reading the Siddha Yoga courses. Solo had been moved to another cellblock, and Jin was left with just his thoughts again. Of course, there were other chess buddies, but more of the same old crappy players. Sitting on a bed for twelve or more hours at a time puts some mighty interesting thoughts into your head. I mean, Jin didn't think like you any longer. His mind was a complete blank. Until he came up with an interesting idea that he wanted to pursue further. After about a year from his grandmother's death, and his arrest. He finally went to trial after not taking any plea bargain. At first, it seemed ludicrous that the film production companies would accuse him of terrorism. He had just hacked into the site on the day that he got arrested! No way they could've traced his address down so quickly. And then he remembered, he had added links to his own site advocating a new religion. Sometimes it did seem that Jin was as brain damaged as they said he was. So, after about twenty witnesses for the prosecution, and only Jin to vouch for his own defense. The judge heavy handedly ordered Jin'Mei Kim to a ten year stint at a maximum security prison. Life was ... funny that way.

The End

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