It was now the evening as we drove down the highway towards my dad's house. By the time we'd get there, it'd be a few days before Christmas Eve. Brice was in the front seat with Seth driving. I was able to drive and volunteered, but they wouldn't let me. They didn't want me to get so tired that I drove off the road.
"We need to stop for the night. We're almost half way there," stated Brice, looking at the GPS. "There's a motel over there."
Seth pulled into the parking lot of the motel and parked the car. We all got out and pulled our bags out of the trunk. While Brice went to rent out a room, Seth and I waited in silence. We were both tired from our long drive. I glanced at him. His hair was messy and his eyes looked swollen from lack of sleep. He was stangely attractive still even though he was a mess. Unfortunately, I would never be able to date him. If he could survive this trip without having one smoke of weed, maybe we could be together. His use of weed was horrifying. I never knew when he was being honest or if he was just completely out of it.
"Audrey, are you okay?" asked Seth, rubbing his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just really tired. What about you? You look like a mess," I replied, running my hand through my hair.
"It's hard for me to function without weed," he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets.
I felt my body turn rigid. He was so dependent on it now. "You really need to stop."
"Stop? I didn't bring any weed on this trip just for you! Do you think that's easy for me?" he snapped, glaring at me.
"Do you want to be stuck living life just for weed all the time? You shouldn't be doing it, Seth! I can't believe you! You were so great before you started smoking it and now you're ruining your life! Look, I love you. I really do, but you need to stop! Something bad is going to happen to you if you don't stop! I like you a lot and I know that you might not like me back. If you did though, I wouldn't be able to even date you because of your drug problem. When you're high, I don't even know if you're being honest or not. It's not something I want to deal with all the time. I'm sorry, Seth. I don't want to fight with you. Let's just...forget it, okay?" I asked, my voice hoarse.
As I turned around, I saw that Brice was standing there. He grabbed our bags silently and stood there for a moment. "The room is upstairs."
I nodded and followed Brice up a flight of rusty stairs, Seth right behind me. Brice unlocked a room at the end of the balcony. The room was small with a little bathroom and two beds. There was a television across from the beds which didn't seem to actually work. Seth angrily grabbed his bag from Brice and pulled out some clothes and things. I shook my head and went back outside to sit on the stairs. I had admitted everything to him, but I didn't feel any better. I held my head in my hands and tried not to cry. Things had been going great, but now they were starting to suck. I had never expected to get in a fight with Seth about drugs, but it was only bound to happen sooner or later.
"Hey, what are you doing out here?" asked Brice, sitting next to me.
I looked up at him. "You heard everything back there, huh?"
He nodded and scratched his head. "Do you really feel that way about my brother?"
I looked away from him and stared out at the parking lot downstairs. "I don't know anymore, Brice. I thought I did, but when I confessed everything to him, I didn't feel like I did."
We sat there for a while, just staring out into the night. In my head I was trying to work out so many different things. What to do about Seth and then what to do about my dad. There were no simple answers for anything and it frustrated me. I couldn't help but feel so useless in the world.
"You have to understand that my brother is gone, Audrey. I know it may be hard to admit, but it's true. It was hard for me to understand at first. My little brother...smoking weed. He's not the same guy anymore. I understand how you feel about him in a way. Just give him time, okay? Meanwhile, let's get some rest," stated Brice, standing up. He held his hand out to me and pulled me up. "You can take one bed. I'll just share with Seth. He won't be happy, but it's better than either of us sharing a bed with you right now."
I nodded and followed him back to the room. Brice was becoming the person to talk to now. It was strangely comforting to have him care about what was going on. Normally he would either make fun of whatever was going on and then continue on with his life not caring how other people felt. This new Brice was such a relief. When we entered the room, Seth was already out of the shower and in bed. I grabbed my stuff silently just as Brice began to talk to Seth and headed for the bathroom. This trip was not only helping me, it was helping my friends too. Secrets were being confessed and people were figuring out the truth even though it hurt to know. I was finally beginning to understand the way things were.