QuadrupMature

It's science fiction but not really, it's mostly about Earth as viewed by aliens and stuff like that.

It was an ordinary day on the distant planet of Quadrup. Only, they wouldn’t have called it day since they didn’t have night and, so, had no real use either the words day or night. Instead they’d have called it “now”.  So what we really should have begun with was that it was an ordinary now on the distant planet of Quadrup.

On Quadrup, time is handled a little differently. They tend just to use “now”, “later” and “earlier” to describe what we know as time. So, if one Quadrup would say to the other, “I’m hungry. What time is it?”, the other Quadrup would reply, “It’s now” and then maybe say something like “I’m hungry as well, should we eat?” To which the other Quadrup would reply “Yes”.Thenthey would eat.

Things were simpler on Quadrup.

They just did things whenever it felt right doing them. Which is a pretty logical thing to do when you’ve nothing with which to structure your days; or your nights, of course.

Probably now that you have learnt that there are not only other planets, but that on these other planets there is no fixed time, you’ll have a lot questions about this. You might be wondering why, for example, in that lunch dialogue, the one Quadrup asked the other: “What time is it?”

Surely, a moot question to ask in a place where there is no fixed time?

In actual fact the Quadrup would have just said, “I am hungry. Should we eat?” But this is all pretty new for you. Thus, the truth was dented slightly to illustrate once again that there is no fixed time on Quadrup. A point really banged home by now.

Probably, when you think about it, “What time is it?” would be one of the most commonly asked questions on Earth. Which is kind of ironic really, losing all that time asking how much time has already been lost. It’s probably not asked as often as “How are you?”, “Are we there yet?” or “Have you seen the remote control?” but it’s up there, of that there is no doubt.

Let me introduce you to two of the inhabitants of Quadrup. The first is called Reden. Reden stood on a busy street, a little perturbed about having to begin a new period of now in which he would have to do his difficult job. Reden toiled each day for the Quadrup Population Management Program, or QPMP as it was known. A love for acronyms is another thing we Earthlings share with the people of Quadrup. Quadrup had a population problem. Quadrups kept multiplying themselves against the wishes of their Government. That was bad. What was worse was that Quadrups had a very short gestational period for their offspring. The shortest in the whole of their galaxy, in fact. A female Quadrup’s pregnancy lasted about a long weekend, Earth time. Birth was also different. On Quadrup once the baby is ready to be born, he travels down the female Quadrup’s body from what is akin to a womb via something akin to a small elevator, to something akin to an exit hatch. This exit hatch is at the rear of a female Quadrup’s body — to a layman of Quadrup biology, such as yourself, it would appear rather similar to that of a human’s rear end. From this exit hatch, the miniature Quadrup just sort of falls out when ready.  

Most Quadrup women don’t even notice they are pregnant. Often they don’t even notice the baby has dropped out. The nearest Earth equivalent is that of losing money down the back of the sofa. 

The End

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