A day in the life of an American software developer living in Germany
"You see," began the doctor, "every living thing vibrates at a certain frequency". With a flick of his wrist, he pulled a blanket off a terrerium containing a garter snake.
Jerry raised his eyebrows at this. He disliked snakes and needed to pick up some backed goods and to be on his way. "He certainly slithers around a lot" he added, feeling a bit silly for doing so.
"She" the doctor corrected. "Now, if we were somehow able to..." here he turned several knobs on the terrerium "...change the phase in which a creature vibrated, we would be able to transform, for example, a snake into..." he pushed a button and the snake began to gyrate wildly until it exploded into a goopy pus. The doctor smiled and turned to Jerry, silently asking him "into what?".
"Milk?" Jerry offered. The mess in the cage looked more like semen than milk, but he didn't wish to offend.
The doctor formed guns with the forefinger and thumb of both hands and pointed them at Jerry. "Exxxxxactly!" he grabbed a nearby mug and poured himself some of the newly formed snake-milk. "Whatcha say?" the doctor held the mug out for Jerry to take.
"Yulk!" exclaimed Jerry, as he took a step backward. "No thanks - no thank you!"
The doctor shrugged and downed the mug himself. His perpetual smile suddenly faded as a slippery pop ripped his head in two snake-like heads - one with the face of Jesus, the other the face of a faded teddy bear.
Jerry shuddered awake and glanced across the empty room. His iphone's alarm broke the sleep drenched silence. Blinking and attempting to force the images from his mind, he turned off the alarm and slowly began getting ready for work.