The beginning of my main off-site work. I'd really like a bit of feedback. Anything you can think of. Open to suggestions :)
The boy never got his birthday present.
Father and son procrastinated on the platform, anticipating the growl of wheels on the rails. Any moment now, thought Alix, the train should roll in…
And the rumbling came…
The boy and his father drifted along the platform, holding hands, skipping cracks, watching and waiting for the train of their dreams. Again and over again Alix screamed at them—get out! get lost! unmake themselves!
No one skipped when the first blast wrenched through the concrete. Down they slid, down into darkness.
How Alix wished she’d gone down with them.
But the fire disdained to bequeath her with sufferings. Body bleeding dry and no spirit to stem the flow, she watched man and child plummet down a throat of flames.
Only her mind could contort in madness, remembering a memory not its own to remember.
Closer and closer the tremors coursed, closer and closer—the screams, the feet, closer and closer…
Then they engulfed her.
And everything went up in smoke and flames.