The students realized Professor Magnanimus once again hadn't taken his pills when they saw him standing over his desk completely naked, his genitals at the same height of several students' heads.
"Do not be scared, it doesn't bite," Professor Magnanimus said with a benevolent smile. "It might, however, spit on you if you... give it a hand."
He laughed heartily while the students tried to act normal and take their seats. A girl without the necessary level of self-control vomited all over the floor. Professor Magnanimus beamed at her.
"Wisdom, young pupil. It can be overwhelming, I know."
He shifted his significant weight, which allowed the students a clearer view of the Professor's undercarriage. The second wave of stomach contents the girl had been trying to hold back splashed all over another student's face, who proceeded to contribute her own, which led to a very disgusting chain reaction.
"WISDOM!" bellowed Professor Magnanimus proudly, over the sound of coughing and splashes.
Pulling themselves together, the students looked for dry seats and the Professor started to sweat profusely in eager anticipation, as he usually did before the beginning of a class, or as he called them, Wisdom Seminars. However, since the Professor was usually dressed, the students didn't know that along with the sweating came an erection. They tried not to think on what would happen once he actually started to speak, but some of the students sitting directly in front of him had a very good reason to wonder about that and some of the smarter ones dragged their seats away from the line of fire.
"ROME!" bellowed the Professor, startling everyone. "One of my favorite subjects. It is in fact why I've come to class dressed like this, which is how actual Romans dressed."
On most days some of the students would have argued that statement, but today they were all one in their decision to keep their mouths firmly shut. This wasn't hard to do considering Professor Magnanimus had a gun on his right hand.
"Rome was founded by Julius Caesar, a formidable general who needed a place to keep his army in. He made a big round structure called the Coliseum so they could practice swordfighting."
He illustrated that last bit by swinging his genitals side to side while smiling widely. He waited for the new round of vomiting to stop and continued over the sound of convulsive crying.
"But Caesar's nephew, Brutus, was French, so he did what the French usually do: he called all his French mates, produced knives, went behind Caesar's back and stabbed the general to death. And then they ate some garlic to celebrate."
Professor Magnanimus dropped from his desk, causing a small earthquake that rippled the many pools of vomit, and started to walk among his pupils.
"Thus began the reign of Emperor Brutus, but he was soon kicked off the throne for being French. Richard Harris succeeded him, but he was killed by his ambitious son Joaquin Phoenix, who ruled Rome until he went insane, grew a beard and fell off a stage, which a Greek man named Spartacus took advantage of and killed him. I can't remember what happened next, but Malcolm McDowell became emperor and the first thing he did was to invent Anal Fisting."
At this point most of the students had zoned out into their own beautiful little worlds, full of flowers, fairies and entirely empty of genitals. Some students, however, remained firmly in the real world, afraid of the increasingly sexual subject and unable to take their eyes off the Professor's quivering, moist urethra.
"There was another Rome as well, created by McDowell's friend, Patrick Stewart, but they became rivals because of this and thus began the McDowell-Stewart wars which had many casualties, but they ended up forgiving each other and inventing gay sex oh God OH GOD --"
He raised his gun and shot the ceiling several times. The students dove out of the way as a jet of semen splashed on the opposite wall.
"Sorry about that," said the Professor, as bits of plaster bounced off his head. "Wisdom. It is overwhelming."
The students got up and fled screaming for the exit door. As they piled up on it, squeezing themselves out of the room, the Professor smiled benevolently.
"I understand, I understand. Patrick Stewart and Malcolm McDowell having sex is too much to handle. We shall move on to Gengis Khan on the next class."
Professor Magnanimus sat down on the edge of his desk, surrounded by his now empty-room, and took a deep breath, inhaling the thick and wonderful scent of Wisdom.