He wakes up to the smell of pancakes, sausage, bacon, eggs and scrapple wafting together and sifting into his bedroom. Still half asleep, he stumbles to his feet and proceeds to the bathroom to do the 'three S's' as he refers to them: Shower, shave, and relieve himself.
After he is finished and dressed he comes to the kitchen to sit down at his small wooden table. He says hello to all of his friends as they wade around the room making jokes at each other as usual. Karen serves him his breakfast and he begins to eat. They all stop bantering and stare at him.
"Do you have to do that every time I eat here!? It's not my fault you don't have stomachs anymore!" Ben says as he wipes syrup from his mouth. "Damn, it's sticky, i got syrup on my sleeves."
"You know, if you were dead, too, you wouldn't have to worry about sticky syrup sleeves. You think you're problems are so bad. Well, I'm dead you jack ass!! And, to add to it I fought for your freedom! If it wasn't for me you'd be out picking cotton!" Says Sarge. A ghost of a man who lost his life in the civil war. His real name was Sam Walden. He is a little bitter still over the war and has come to Ben because he doesn't have any other living beings to talk to.
"First of all, I'm white. Okay? But, thank you. Second of all, I don't even know why we call you Sarge. You were a front line grunt. You didn't even see battle! You died from a cannon malfunction! By your own hand!"
"Forget you, ya yankee..." Sarge rolls his eyes.
"You were also on a yankee. You fought for the north," Ben said quickly as he resumed eating.
"Chill man, I'm grateful. Haha, like the grateful dead, ya? They're a great band," Kahlil chimed in. He was an ex drug runner who operated in the streets of Pittsburgh. Often trafficking from there to Philly and New York City.
"Be quiet Kahlil. Why don't you go smoke your ashes?" Sarge laughed.
"I can't. My peeps already did that. I watched them at the party. I always told them if I ever died that's what i wanted. Who would want to just go spread ashes that fine in quality in the ocean, you know?" Needless to say how Kahlil died.
Everyone in the room laughed.
"Kahlil, man. Out of all of you here, you're the only one I would not call the ghost busters on. " An old man ghost walked through the front door and over heard the conversation. He was Ben's old man Jack. He died two years ago from a heart attack during work. But, even after death he is still around to give Ben a hard time.
"Hey! What about me!?" Karen retorts.
"Remember that time you had Ben out all night in ninth grade? He got sick and he ended up puking all over my tux. They were brand new work clothes!"
"You old prick. Still holding that grudge, huh?" Karen smiles as she washes the dishes.
"Nice to see you, dad. Where have you been?"
"At your mother's, pranking the hell out of her and her new boyfriend. She's probably going to call you for some detective work. It wasn't me," Jack adds. He pulls out a chair and sits down. "Is that scrapple?"
"Dad? I'm sorry that you aren't around to be with mom but you have to stop scaring her boyfriends away. She is still alive and you can't be there for her," Ben explains.
"Well, I still say she did me in with her cooking," He stares at Karen as she stares back. She stops whats she is doing for a short moment and continues sheepishly putting the frying pan she just washed into the cupboard.
"Please? For her well being?" Ben asks with a strong undertone.
"Fine! I guess i could tone it down a bit but I'm not stopping. You know, lights flickering, a few moving dish plates. I won't make anyone hit themselves anymore, I promise," Jack says with a bit of a smirk.
"You didn't," Karen shook her head.
"It was a blast. I mean, how can you blame me. She's hooking up with-"
"Enough, dad. I got a proton pack and I'm not afraid to use it," Ben said bluffing.
Jack gave him a blank look. "Fine."
"So, you about ready? We've gotta get cracking," Karen asks.
"Can i help this time?" Kahkil asks.
"No. I saw you snorting carpet freshener this morning. Besides, you never really try when you come with us," Karen replies.
"Well, you never let me get the good stuff..."
"Quit whining, you hooligan. You still have most of your face!" Sarge yells.
"I think I'm done. I can never eat in peace. It was very good, though." Ben got up from the table and proceeded to the door as he grabbed his jacket.
"When you get a chance tell mom Jerry is a douche bag!" Jack yells as Ben and Karen leave.