Try talking to her.

Having shoed the goat out of the dining room, balled the table clothe into the bin and yelled as Jess for leaving the door open, you reaslise its happened again.

10 minutes ago you were on your floor, crying about the gulf between you and your only child. Then the goat and the arguements, distracting you from what you want to tell her. Giving youi something to think about other than the hurt and lonliness.

"Jess" you call softly up the stairs, but when she doesnt reply you find yourself shouting it, shouting yet again. Do you ever do anythingelse lately?

She hears this time, and pops her head around the stair banister. Her golden hairs falls down in rivulets framing an almost angelic face, but it hits you that this isnt a childs face anymore, its a young woman. You little girl is growing up and away.

"What mom? I didnt do whatever it is you're about to bollock me for"

All you intended to say was "im sorry for yelling about the goat" but instead the words that come out are "Don't take that tone with me and dont use language like that to me. I'm your mother, you dont have to like me but you better respect me young lady!" The gentle tone has risen to a yell.

"You're right mom" she says, sacharine sweet, "I dont have to like you. Good job!" and with that she's flounced off into her room and the slam of the door reverberates through your heart.

When did she start flouncing instead of walking?

When did she slam doors and yell at you instead of hanging on your every word?

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6 COMMENTS ABOUT THIS STORY RSS

Just Chatting
"All I keep thinking is how disappointed I would be if I was antz29. They obviously put thought into this story; it's already very emotional and has (or had) great potential.
I agree with Bannalor; If I had wrote this I think I would be disappointed that others didn't look at it with the same respect and potential that I had when creating it."

posted Feb 13 by Jillian

Just Chatting
"hehe, i laughed too, out loud in fact... the first time. when i explored the second branch is when i became disappointed to see the same thing repeated. Right now I could go to the screaming boy and make each and every branch lead to "And then he woke up and found that he was actually an alien in a spaceship, crashed on earth. He had been dreaming, under the influence of the inadvertent telepathic transmissions of nearby humans. Now he was awake, his ship was broken, and he needed to hide." And then from that point on every other branch would have to take that into account and every previous branch would be nulled unless someone tried really hard to bring elements of the dream back into the story. If I made a few variations I wouldn't really be breaking the rules and others would still be able to fix the story but EACH story line would still have evidence of sabotage. If it's just one story line then people can choose to build upon it and the sabotage is only playful randomness, not what i called dead-ending. ah, i dont really want to argue, it creates the wrong atmosphere, im just hoping that maybe meccabilly will try to get one of those posts deleted. But then again, at this point, we don't have enough posters to bring every thread to life anyways :)"

posted Jan 17 by Bannalor

Just Chatting
"meccabilly always does this... although.. their ideas DO make me laugh..."

posted Jan 16 by NineMenOnRocks

Just Chatting
"yes, with a bit of imagination it can be fixed, but no matter how it is fixed any story line will have the goat-joke as chapter two. i realize that the way this works is that anyone has the freedom to change things, but to change both storylines in such a way that contradicts (what seems to be) the original intention is going beyond that. I think that perhaps we should, in many circumstances, feel the responsibility to honour the original author's intended mood. When a story gets to have six branches or so there is no harm done in changing things drastically, i did that myself in the screaming boy, but then there is only the root with two branches its more respectful to keep some consistency. just my two cents, i dont want to seem hostile to meccabilly but i did want to voice my criticism."

posted Jan 15 by Bannalor

Just Chatting
"Fair enough, but you guys are more than able to get the story back on the rails if that's what you're after. I agree that changing the complete theme of the story goes against the posting guidelines somewhat, but you do have the ability to "fix" it yourself if you want. :)"

posted Jan 14 by surreal78

Just Chatting
"oh man, that's terrible how meccabilly dead-ended this... to be fair, it is an interesting twist, but to make both options lead to a goat instead of a realistic emotionally complex person-person relationship drama... i think it really betrays what the author was going after."

posted Jan 14 by Bannalor

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this story has 5 branches this story has 6 comments 1 page marker has been added for this story this story has been rated 8 times for an average of 2.75