Your human eyes are so easily mistaken - so easily frightened. so easily you retreat. Do you apply? Do you apply what you know? You know yourself by your fruits, but what are your fruits? Your fruits are desperation now - and He wants you, this you know. Do you want Him? Wouldn't you have Him then? Or is this part of some larger plan? Are you weak and selfish? Worldly, subject to your own flesh?
Why do you care to know yourself? Why should you look to the mirror in search of yourself when you could be in search of Him who is so much greater? You forget your God. In time you stop praying and you lose strength. He never forgets you. Why does the world hold you so, when His arms would hold you, so much gentler, so tender and strong. Not the laugh less taskmaster of your own lack of self-control, but the joyful arms of mother and child. How do you choose to turn away, knowing you are nailing into his heart thorns of sorrow? Into that pure gentle hand you drive your selfishness. He takes it with mercy, faithfully waiting your tearful return. Never with condemnation will he welcome you into His heart of hearts. Oh blessed, blessed are we your children. You are beyond my words. My little words. Any words I have of You, must come from You! Any Love I have for You, must come from You! Any sight I have of You, must be grace from You! How lucky I am to know You, the little I do. You know my heart and my motives, and You will guide me to Your heart. Help me to show Your Love to everyone I meet. So I can be so blessed as to Love as I am Loved. Guide me Lord, for there is nowhere else to go, that does not lead to death. I must ask that You become all my senses, all my decisions, thoughts, words and actions – Life.
To die to yourself is more then you know, but I see your heart and you will never be truly happy until you do. You see, this will be your great work! You won't show it until I say, I know you won't. Who knows when that will be, only me. You must stay close. You missed me again last week, Why? Were you so lazy you didn't want to come? See you have not much to say. You do not know how to talk to me yet. In time you will, your heart has been speaking to me and you will know what it has been saying in time. It is a very proud and vain place, you know this though. I am very glad you have come at last. I love you for it, I love you for your pain. You will see great things here, but there will be great struggles little one. I Love you, together we will see great Love.