Usually I consider myself a very calm individual. It takes a lot to fire me up. So forgive me for snapping when Paulina Nolan's vapid eyes kept boring into my skull. I had remained somewhat neutral, albeit sassy, throughout this horrifying experience. I was torn from a family I wasn't even sure loved me anymore. I had been physically abused by a slap happy goon (twice!) while the second was completely unresponsive and dull. Then I was forced to listen to a complete sociopath condemn who I was and couldn't speak a word against it. And now this porcelain doll brought to life couldn't grant me five minutes of privacy. Please excuse me for losing my cool. In my own personal opinion, it was long overdue.
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" I scream at her. Paulina Nolan does not even blink.
"Watch your language." she croaks. I am taken aback. Her tone is nothing like the syrupy, candied apple and whipped cream with a plastic cherry on top sundae that I was expecting. For a second, I convince myself that she's a robot that had a slight malfunction and will be repaired momentarily. But the croak resurfaces. "I can report you."
"You think I give a flying fuck if you report me?"
She looks down at a journal that sits in her lap and hastily scribbles something and shows it to me. One haunting sentence. I gulp.
They can hear us.
She holds up one finger and scrawls an afterthought.
But not all the time. Just wait. In the meantime read the other sheets.
She shoves the papers at me and continues to write in her journal. She does not show me any more, which indicates to me that our 'conversation' is over. At least for now.
The second paper announces my full name (albeit backwards): Thatcher, Rosalind Beatrice. In addition, it infuriatingly has a postscript that brands me with what I'm sure will be my identity for my time here at Messina: Condition: Same Sex Attraction (SSA). Under it is a large table of times. I once read that one can exercise control over others by strictly regulating their everyday routine. When I look down at the schedule, I a, certain my time will be strictly regulated and I should pray to God or Jesus or Allah or Krishna or Buddha or Zeus or Ra or anyone else that might be listening that I wouldn't become a brainwashed lemming.
0500- Wake up/shower
0600- Morning chapel
0800- Group therapy
1100- Noon chapel
1430- Individual therapy
1900- Evening chapel
2100- Reinforcement/Bible study
2300- Lights out
0300- Invitatory psalm
0600- Lauds prayer
0900- Terce prayer
1100- Office of readings
1200- Sext prayer
1500- None prayer
1800- Vesper prayer
2100- Compline prayer
According to most doctors, the average thirteen year old requires about nine hours of sleep a night. Also, sleep deprivation is a proven brain washing technique. Keep that in mind when you remember we get six hours of sleep a night.