He Shows The Boss Who's Really Boss!

 

Begins with K, ends with KAPOW, m-o-f-o.  It's talk like that gets a boss a fat lip, buddy.  You're about to get a knuckle sandwich hero size with plenty of Michael mustard.  I'm going to be the one you thank for teaching you that invaluable lesson of when to keep that big trap sewed up, Ka-peesh?

Ka-peesh means "Understand?" in spanish.  And I'm quick.  Quick like a beetle, the smaller beetles.  And when you bend over so far backwards your knees finally get to meet your nose, you're going to wish I had just called in sick.

Reminds me of this time there were these guys and I was walking home late one night in February it was snowing real bad and I was in a bad mood and these big thugs came by and one of them had a crowbar behind his back.  I didn't see it of course but I knew it because a brawler has to have intuition, intuition.  

They all wore bandanas and one of them, he had a yellow bandana and the other guys had red ones, but they all had the same pattern.  It was a series of skullls and angels.  Anyhow, this one guy. the small mousy, greasy guy with the yellow bandana, he must have been the leader, he asks me for the time, right?

Man, I've walked the streets of Darfur before by myself, that's a different story, but if anything, I've got street smarts and I'm observant.  Yeah, there it is.  The glint of the crowbar behind crony's back.  And this guy's fat.  Always the fat guy with the crowbar.  The fat guys, they always got the weapons  because just they're too slow.  

So, yeah, he asks me for the time, and am I just going to, like some wide eyed pedestrian, look down at my watch so Bingo wonder-gorilla can bash me from behind with his crowbar and these SOBS can have their SOB way with this guy?  Not likely.  

So, what happenned?  Let's just say that Mr. Greasy yellow cap needs a new watch and his hooligan groupies cross the road every time they see me.

Suddenly, I feel sorry my boss.  Mr. Larimer.  Nice tie.  New car.  Gorgeous sex-kitten of a red head girlfriend.  But he doesn't get it.  He just doesn't get it.  The man's obsessed with punctuality.

"Michael!"

The End

14 comments about this story Feed