Popcan revolverMature

When I got to to the house the door was covered in blood. The window beside the front door was smashed and there was glass on the ground. I noticed the door was opened a little so I went inside. There was a pool of blood on the linoleum, the phone was off the hook and I could hear screaming in the bathroom. I walked slowly down the hallway, the carpet was matted with blood and dirt. The screaming got louder as I got closer to the bathroom. There was no blood on the handle, I could see my reflection. I looked scared.

I opened the door to see Michael holding Jason down and Dallas spraying his hand with the shower hose. Blood was going down the drain in a soft magenta --My favorite color. Jason was wailing around as the other two held him down and sprayed him. Michael yelled at me. "Call your mom, nobody is home at my house, and don't tell her what happened!" "Fuck you!" I said, "I'm totally going to tell her you stupid chink!" "I'm half Chinese you fucking asshole!" He said. "Call her now!"

The phone was covered in bloody handprints. I grabbed a dish towel from the kitchen sink and wiped it off. I hung the phone up, picked it back up and called my mom. It rang twice; then she answered. "Hello?" My mom said on the other line. "Hi mom it's me Travis, can you come pick us up, Jason got in an accident and we need to go to the hospital." I said. "Really?" My mom said, "you know, that new skateboard park is by the hospital right?" "So what?" I said. "The last time I picked you up Travis, you said you were being chased by natives, and when I got to the 7-11 you were playing video games." She said. "And the time before that you said you were having an asthma attack, it turns out you just ate too much and didn't want to walk, and how about..." "Ok, ok, I get it!" I said. "I'm a bad person, you can't trust me, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You have to believe me though, if you don't come here right now Jason will bleed to death in the bath tub! You need to get here as soon as possible so we can take him to the hospital." The last thing my mom said before hanging up the phone was, "you better not be lying."

***

The night before this we were all in Jason's garage. It was me, Dallas, Jason and Michael. Dallas had brought this book he just picked up called the Anarchist's Cookbook. It contained recipes and instructions to make explosives, drugs from kitchen supplies and a bunch of other cool shit. He also brought five can's of V8, a tube of cocking glue, electrical tape, alligator clips, a phone cord, wires and a phone cord coupler.

Dallas picked up the phone coupler and said, "the first thing we are going to make is a beige box. What we need to do is to snap the phone coupler in half, inside, it has four wires --red, green, yellow and black. Pull the red and green wires as far as they can go, and cut out the yellow and black wires since they are only used if you want a second line, which we don't. Then, you strip the ends of the red and green wires back and screw the ends on to the alligator clips. What a Beige Box does is the fun part. You go to someone's house, un screw their TNI can --It's a beige box located in the back of most houses. And attach the red and green alligator clip to the red and green line in the box. Once you have done that, plug a cordless phone in to the coupler, press talk, and you have an unlimited, free phone line."

We decided to use it at my moms bosses house; She was a bus driver. The garage for the busses had a separate phone line. We all took turns calling a 1-900 number that Michael found in the back of a porno magazine. One person on the phone and the other three on lookout detail: one on the road, one for the house, and last, to watch for people walking by. Dallas went first, followed by Jason, then Michael, and me last as I was the youngest. I dialed the number, it rang twice and then there was an answer. "Hi." A ladies voice said. "Hello?" I said back. "What you looking for tonight sweetie?" She said. "I don't know? Regular stuff. Sex." I said to her. "How old are you sweetie?" She asked. "Old enough." I said. "Do you have a credit card sexy?" She asked me. "I don't have one of those. Do you have nice boobs?" I said. "Well if you don't have a credit card." She said. "THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME!" "What!?" I said. "YOU LITTLE FUCKING PRICK BASTARD, YOU ARE FUCKING UP THE LINES, YOU'VE CALLED FOUR TIMES NOW, YOU LITTLE FUCKING PRICK, YOU'RE FUCKING BANNED FROM THE LINE YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T CALL THE COPS!" She said and hung up. My heart jumped in to my throat and I tried to call her back so she wouldn't tell on us. Nobody picked up. I unplugged the phone from the jack, took off the allegator clips and ran back to Jason's. Jason, Dallas and Michael ran behind me laughing. "So did you talk to her?" Jason asked me. "Ya" I said. "And?" he asked. "Ya" Dallas and Michael said. "What did she say?" Jason asked again. "Just stuff about sex." I said. "What did she say to you guys?" I asked. "Oh, man, she talked about how hot her pussy was and how she wanted to fuck me." Jason said. "Ya, she totally wanted to suck my dick." Michael said. "She wanted me to fill her honey pot." Dallas said. I was really upset that she got so mad at me, and why she talked to all of them even though they didn't have credit cards. I didn't say anything to them though. I just made stuff up and stared at the clock until we went to sleep.

"We have to get rid of all this V8" Dallas said to us first thing in the morning. I hate V8 juice more than anything. I wanted to pour it in the toilet. Dallas said he paid three bucks a can for them and if we wasted it we would have to pay him back; cheap fuck. It tasted like thick old ketchup with the consistency of chalk, I coughed it down. I almost threw up. I only had three dollars on me and wanted to keep it. I wiped the corner of my mouth, and said "MMMMMM." After they were done, Jason grabbed a can opener from the kitchen and Michael found a hammer in the garage. Jason opened the ends of the cans except for one, and Michael smoothed out the corners with the hammer. After that Dallas and I lined the cans up, and glued them together with the cocking glue. When the glue dried we taped it up secure with the electrical tape. Then all we had to do was drill a hole in the one end that we left the lid on. We all stood around our accomplishment, and with a few other items --One can of Fido Dido hairspary, one lighter, five potatoes, and four beers from Jason's dads fridge. Then we head out into the woods.

We went to a place by Jason's house called the five fields, it took about twenty minutes, including the beer break. When we got there, we hid behind a row of bushes that lined the fields together. We propped the potato gun to some loose branches and stones it took a while to get it all set up unassisted. Dallas sprayed hairspray in the tube and loaded in the potato. (How it works is you spray the hairspray into the tube, plugging the nail hole in the back, then you stuff in the potato and shake the cans so the hairspray fills the tube, then you prop it to the branches and light the nail hole with a lighter and the potato will shoot across the field...)

The first four or five tries (with the same potato) the potato would only make a small "Flomp" sound and roll out the end of the tube. We were using a Fido Dido spray bottle that seemed like it was mostly sugar water that Jason had mixed to make it last longer. Dallas tasted the hairspray and said, "I don't think there is enough alcohol, this is even sweet, we need something more flammable. According to the cookbook the tube should probably be longer to add combustion, I think we need some hairspray and more V8 cans, who has money?" I was wearing most of the money I had and did not want to pay to have to drink more of that shit, then I thought of something. I said, "My dad totally has flammable stuff in his shed, and a tonne of cans! My mom is home so we'll have to sneak in through the back window of the shed though, but I think it will work. We could even grab more beers, Norm won't notice, he can't keep track."

We went through the forest into the trailer park by my house. I hate being in this area, this was where the Belcourt's lived, and they all wanted to kick my ass. We got through the trailer park and to where my backyard was. Our neighbors had a hole in their chain link fence you could sneak in to and there was a hole in the fence connecting our houses that was blocked by the shed, there was about a foot of room between the back fence and the shed, so all I had to do was open the window and get someone to boost me up. I couldn't turn on the light when I got into the shed so my mom wouldn't catch us, it was dark but I found what we needed. I found the beer first, four cans and passed them out the window to the guys, I couldn't find a can opener, but I did find a little bit of electrical tape. I looked around for the gas tank but could only find a spray bottle that looked like WD-40, it was called liquid fire, it's main ingrediant was something called ether, it had the flammable symbol so I tossed it through the window.

About two hours had passed since the last potato was shot off. We passed time on the walk back drinking beer and ganging up on each other. We had no can opener but didn't want to waste any more time going back to Jason's so we knocked the ends out with sharp sticks and bent the corners in with our fingers. They were a lot bigger than the V8 cans, but we had enough tape to keep them secure, just to make sure we took off some of the tape from the V8 cans. The liquid fire smelled really strong, it burned our eyes. We sprayed most of the can into the potato gun, stuffed in a new potato and shook it all up. You could hear the liquid in the tube swish, the same time our eyes looked around knowing that nobody wanted to light it. I sure the fuck didn't.

Dallas and Michael propped it up against the branches and rocks, and Dallas said, "so who's going to do this?" Then Jason out in the background said those few little words that would from then on be synonymous with his character. "Me first, I want to do it, come on guys, me first, me first!" We all looked at each other simultaneously and shrugged our shoulder's. Dallas handed him the lighter. The three of us stood behind him, around four feet in each direction, holding ourselves like those hear no evil see no evil monkey's. Dallas held his ears, Michael held his eyes, and I covered my balls.

Jason knelt down and flickered the lighter, once, twice, three times... It didn't work. All we had was a book of matches with four matches in it. I handed Jason the book and he knelt down again. The first one went out, so did the second and the third. When he lit the last one --I kind of hoped it didn't go out; not as much as I wanted to see what would happen. He covered the match with his hand, lit it, put it next to the hole.

Silence, then.

An explosion.

And then.

We were all covered in blood.

We all inspected our bodies, lifting our shirts and rubbing our legs. We looked ourselves up and down to find where the blood came from. We were good, it must have brutally killed a squirrel or something, we started to laugh. I looked at Jason who was laughing, not as much, then he looked at me and said, "ow." I looked at his hand, it looked like someone started to draw with red felt from his right pointer finger to the top of his wrist. His flesh opened like paper corners, you could see his tendons, then all you could see was a thick trail of dark red blood flowing from his hand. In the same moment everything froze, and in slow motion I watched Jason run through the field followed by Dallas. When time returned they were gone and it was just me and Michael, I looked over at him and said, "I just bought these clothes." He gave me a confused look and followed Jason and Dallas.

***

My mom took fifteen minutes to get to Jason's house. Jason's hand had already soaked through an entire roll of Bounty towels. He was crying. I looked at him and said, "did you see how far that potato went?" Everyone laughed, Jason too. I lied, I never saw how far it went, I'd keep that lie most of my life. My mom drove up to his parking lot, rolled down the window and said, "I guess you weren't lying."

On the way to the hospital I kept telling Jason jokes to keep him from crying. It was really sad to see, he was the toughest one of us, I saw him take some hard beatings without shedding a tear, I couldn't imagine how much pain he was in. My mom turned to look at us and asked, "so how did this happen?" In total unison, without even thinking it out or deciding what to say we said, "razor wire. Under some bush. He tripped on it." My mom shrugged, and said, "well, at least it wasn't an eye." For some reason we all laughed. As soon as my mom pulled in to the parking lot of the hospital Jason kicked the door open and ran towards the revolving entrance door. The rest of us, now knowing he was fine, walked at a medium pace. My mom, leading us, knowing she had to check him in, and us, trailing, knowing our responsibilities ended at the hospital entrance.

Me, Dallas and Michael were not allowed to go in to the examination room, so we sat in the waiting room and watched TV and drew cocks in the kids books. You could see Jason through a crack in the door while he was getting prepped for stitches, the nurse was running high pressure water on him, and after that she swabbed his hand with alcohol or some kind of disinfectant. The whole time she was doing this he was stomping his foot and Screaming like a tea kettle, "SPHEEE, SPHEEE!" We all took turns watching him laughing and doing mock impressions of him, the whole time laughing and saying "me first, me first!"

On the way back to Jason's house, it was just him and I left. Dallas and Michael's parents had picked them up at the hospital, tomorrow was a school day, and it was a pretty long weekend. When we were about a block away from Jason's house, there were police cars around it and his driveway was taped up. It seems that when his mom and dad got home, with the blood and the broken glass, the phone off the hook and a bathtub full of blood I guess they thought there was a murder. Some crazy guy hacked us up and disappeared. True story. Jason got grounded for a month. It's a hellova lot better than if they knew the truth, so he said nothing. Nobody did. Ever. Until now.

The End

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