After the CrashMature

Yeah man, them was the days....

But after the crash, we became like lepers.. us Essex boys. No one would touch us with a shit stirrer. They turned their back on us longbow yeoman... the ones who'd fought and won for them ?! The ones who'd cut the throats of their prisoners without a second thought, and give chivalry the pluck yew !? Fuck them !

Now, it was like we had never existed... the were trying to pretend that they had never got greedy and were still the perfect gentlemen. The bastards.... one bastard even said to me

"With your breeding and the schools you went to, frankly, they shouldn't have let you in the tradesmen entrance".

Thanks a lot for effin nuffink ! Actually, damn him to hell... and throw in some napalm... Damn them all. The scabs. I did think about joining al-sodding-qaida, yeah ?! Seriously! Showing them how to break "The Business", yeah ?! It would be so easy. But you probably don't get paid or laid with those twats... you probably have to be celibrate... that's the word, init ?... pray three times a day, give them all your money... and your life. Fuck that that, yeah! Revenge is too hard work anyway.

Finally went into loans. Indie. It's a good game. I get to be my own boss, yeah ?! It's basically the same game. Only for less dough and less kudos.... a lot less... shit.... man we was kings in them days. But at the end of the day it's the same shyte. Buy cheap, manipulate the market, or the punters, sell for a lot, yeah ?! Usually to the fools who don't know any better or have no other options. Who dares wins, yeah !? It's so true, you don't never have to con the same fool twice... there's too many idiots in the world.

But what I still couldn't understand though, was my declining success with the birds. Yeah, I was reaching the big four oh, and maybe I was a little flabbier than in the old days. A bit thinner on the top and salt and peppery. Hey, here's aa piece of advice,... I tried that Kraut stuff... you know the one they show on the telly... that's disappear off the shop selves or some such shyte. But it's all lies I tell you... it does squat.

But they say that makes a man more distinguished. And I can only afford the Charles Rougemont champ now. But my eight-K, guaranteed for life, veneers are still sparkling. And no problems in the lower department. I’m still a fine specimen of manhood. Hell, I make myself horny thinking about me, no-wod-ah-min !? Huh, huh ...

So why am I being left to pound my own spud more often? Even changed cologne and deodorant. Thought I'd try that Lynx stuff which they keep showing on the box. That's a pretty hot ad, and I'm sure it must make the women who see it hot too. Women go by smell a lot. Know what I'm saying ?!

But what happened next was the effin last straw !

The End

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