Longsword, Decembre 1st, 2009
In Mindscrew Central, a tale of character development once took place. One that would possibly change our loveable tea-drinker’s life forever if he knew about it.
“Ego, stop narrating. In fact, stop breaking the fourth wall altogether.”
“Screw you. You’re just jealous because I’m a fan-favorite.”
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. This is the story of the Freudian Trio’s Bogus Exposition Adventure.
“Because, Id, I lost tree-fitty during that crap.”
Anyway, about three or four hours before Saffy and her faceless twin showed up. Would this be a good time to say that I really felt like drawing on her? Seriously, how weird is that?
“Ego, just tell the damn story.”
“Why so serious, Id? Jeez.”
Ignoring Mr. Grumpy-pants’ interruption, about three or four hours before my artistic urges were aroused…giggity…Id, Consie, Waffles, and I were temporarily stuck in a time anomaly. Since we were in in Mindscrew Central, after all, this could have been just an ordinary occurrence.
“Roy’s kickawesome Slowpoke.”
“Don’t you mean ‘PoPo’?”
“No. Stop interrupting me.”
Anyway, while in this freak time-space phenomenon, we all got a lot more exposition than we would have liked.
This is that story…
“So…PoPo…why are you here?” asked Id, who had given up on returning to normality anytime soon.
“For some reason, I had a feeling you were going to say that.”
“Hey! You know good and well he’s much more intelligent than you are, Id!” yelled, Ego, pointing dramatically.
PoPo stared at Ego for a moment before replying with, “Damn right, fools.”
“Am I the only one who he gives the creeps?” Conscience blinked.
Ego, who had been facing the other way, faced Conscience, but only to have his face replaced with the Slowpoke’s.
“That’s not funny.”
Ego’s face returned to normal as he thought for a moment. “Why do we pick on you so much? I mean…when did it start?”
“I’m surprised that you’re the one asking that,” Id yawned, throwing an empty bowl of ramen. “…You do know why, don’t you?”
“After a while, it’s just fun.”
PoPo stared amongst the three for a moment, then looked toward his tail, as if something had distracted him.
“The clown is right. She is fun to pick on.”
“See? I…wait. Hold on, I’m not just a clown…I’m the brains of the outfit here. The clown-thing’s just a hobby.”
Id merely sighed, not even attempting to argue with his partner on his obviously-flawed logic.
Conscience, feeling rather annoyed, decided to take Id’s place. “Ego, in the sixteen years I’ve been with you two, you never act remotely smart. Not even for a minute.”
“Hey, there’s the times I do Roy’s Pokemon, Miss I-can’t-do-my-job.”
“That doesn’t count. And besides, the only reason I can’t do my job is because Roy won’t listen to me. Or, rather, he can’t accept what I say because of you and Id.”
“Oh, really, now? And, what is it you want him to do?” Ego challenged.
Conscience stopped for a moment before replying. “I just want him to be happy.”
“So do we,” Ego shot back. “What makes our ideas of Roy’s happiness any different?”
“Ego. You really don’t remember, do you?” Id asked.
“I remember that she gets really pissy when annoyed.”
Id facepalmed, then corrected Ego’s statement. “Conscience is a ghost—a ghost of Roy’s older sister.”
“Why would he have such a lame sister? And besides, aren’t they all gingers—why’s she blonde?”
Conscience held back some of her anger to reply for Id. “Ego, do you remember when Daebi appeared to Roy as a child? Remember how it impacted him?”
“Well, I noticed Roy started drinking massive amounts of tea, and then I remember you changed your hair color because of something about symbolism.”
"No. I did it so Roy wouldn't remember me. He started weirding his parents out when he said he started seeing me."
“Oh yeah…that’s why I started picking on you.”
“No, moron, you and Id picked on me because I’m a ghost and don’t belong as part of the mind. That’s why Roy listens to you more than he does me.”
Ego thought about Conscience’s words for a moment, then shook his head. “Nah, I like my version better.”
“Ego’s version does sound better. You have to give him that,” Id shrugged.
PoPo, who had been silent for the majority of the story, let out a long cry of “Slow.” Followed by “You’re all morons.”
The Freudian Three looked at each other for a moment.
“The Slowpoke speaks truth,” Id yawned.
“Of course he does. Waffles never lies, do you?”
“You are the leader of the morons.”
“See?” Ego smirked.
“Id…what did I do to deserve him?” sighed Conscience.
“You died, found out your brother was psychic, bonded to him at your wake, then tried to become part of his subconscious,” Id replied, naming the reasons on his fingers. “Yeah…I think that pretty much covers it.”
“Covers that, too.”
And so ends the not-so-awesome exposition post that ended up concerning Conscience.
“Screw you, Ego!”