I was more than in love; I was obsessed with the thought of this boy. You see Sean was a year older than anyone else in my class, he had muscles, and he was a man. He owed a scooter with chrome stickers and a license plate and everything and he’d glide into school like a god on his fire red chariot. He made my heart sweat and my body tingle in every inch. Mostly I loved Sean for the simple unarguable fact that our bedrooms a mere crabapple tree between them faced each other from across an alley, it was meant to be… although the view blocked should I possibly have to catch him in a moment. I dreamed of my love every night and most days. I never understood.
I was thirteen years-old that summer; Sean Hall-Williams moved in across my alley. My mother drifted away, and my life was proving to be an endless mess of Father and son baseball games with helium balloon birthday parties and vomit ridden punch bowls, waiting for a father to claim them. My father was a pilot for the largest corporate airfare chain in North American history, when he was home he couldn’t be bothered to remember the promises he made me. But my mother and I had done well enough with out him.
It was the summer Sean moved to town I remember most, I had just gone into remission for the first time in three years, I missed a lot of school but still managed to pass all my classes, four more in remission and i was free. The summer had been hot but it was just beginning when i looked out my window to see a moving truck and there he was, a man in his tight blue jeans and James Dean hair wet from a day in transit. I was still too weak to ask to help and gladly i never did, he would never have noticed even if i had gone by just to say hello. He was more beautiful than my memory allows, but still i remember every moment. I sat watching from my second floor window until the lights in the alley peaked on and they retired to the house for dinner then I peaked between the branches to watch them eat. backlight, together, I remember wondering if I ever ate like this, a family?