Shelby was a cutter. A flavor for the spine tingling chill one experiences just before the slow drag across your skin from a fresh clean razor. Some feel a sense of power, of ownership. A rational belief that they are in control of something. Shelby feels them all. Her glorious existence up to this moment is a testament to the will of Man. Betrayed by faith and by blood at the tender age of thirteen, Shelby’s father, the now incarcerated Reverend Johnathan Andrews, repeatedly raped and sodomized her. His fits of rage would pour over her and almost always end in blood and sex. The good Reverend was finally caught shortly after Shelby reached the age of seventeen. She had met a strapping twenty-four year-old mechanic named Kevin Blanco. She saw in him wings broad and strong enough to carry her from the grip of her father to a paradise of love and security. He had everything she wanted. A steady job, a car, a decent apartment, and the sex was rough, just the way she had learned to like it. Shortly after Shelby left home to move in with Kevin, Reverend Andrews plotted and executed plans to kidnap children. His indiscretions came to light when a female companion returned home with the Reverend for drinks after their first date. While he was mixing her drink with sedatives in the kitchen, she was browsing through his book collection and stumbled across a few candid photographs of his misdoings. Before he returned to the living room with drinks, she was well on her way to the police. During his arrest and investigation, pictures of Shelby were discovered spanning her life from age thirteen to seventeen. Her darkest secrets exposed. The media swarmed the story, setting up live broadcasts from outside Kevin’s apartment.
Life within the apartment changed dramatically after the revelation of her abusive past. Kevin endured cruel jokes about his broken and used girlfriend. He became ashamed and abusive towards Shelby. All respect had been erased. After a few months of fighting and physical abuse, Shelby slipped back into the role of victim. It was easy, of course. It was all she really knew. The short time spent in happiness when they met melted away like a waking dream. With no respect or care for her feelings to hold back his cruel nature, Kevin began bringing home friends from the garage for nights of forced sex with Shelby. After the alcohol wore off, his disdain for her grew even more. If she refused to follow through, she would catch the back of his hand. If she appeared to enjoy it, Kevin would become enraged the next day.
Shelby began cutting herself again. The one and only thing she had control of. And it worked as a release for awhile. That is, until Kevin noticed the scars. She had hidden the small incisions between fingers and toes since she had started again. But the need for release had become too great. The cuts now appeared on her arms and breasts. Kevin became particularly enraged after bringing home Bill from an all night drinking binge at the local titty bar. Bill was a new mechanic at the garage and Kevin wanted to give him a welcoming party gift by letting him blow off some steam with Shelby after a long night of topless glitter covered teasings.
Shelby heard the front door creak open and slam shut. The loud bang of the door startled her. So much so, that the razor dancing across her breast dipped deeper into her flesh than she normally allows.
“Shelby! Get your skinny white ass out here! I have a friend I want you to meet!”
She could tell by the angry drunken slur of Kevin’s voice what was in store for her this evening. She quickly tucked the razor into the small pocket of her jeans and began cleaning the wound. If Kevin sees this, she thought, he is going to kill me. A scratch can be explained away by the abuse and rough handling she received, but a cut this deep begs to be seen.
“I’ll be out in a minute! I am in the bathroom!” She shouted, hoping to buy some time to hide her bleeding secret.
“Make sure you clean up real nice! We’re gonna’ have a good time tonight!” Kevin shouted back, laughing and pulling another swig from the warm beer he was carrying. Bill splashed down on the old sofa. His bottle was empty, made evident by holding it upside down over his open mouth to catch any remaining fluid falling from the bottle.
“I’ve got some cold ones in the fridge. Do you want another one?” Kevin asked as he finished off his beer.
“Abso-fucking-lutely!” Bill replied. They were both well beyond intoxicated. Kevin made his way to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door and swayed back and forth, staring into the abyss of lost dinner leftovers and condiments. With the grace of a wet brick, Kevin began slapping at the useless surplus of food items in search of the canned gold. Not finding the beer, he becomes instantly irritated.
“Goddamn it, Shelby!” he shouted. “Did you drink the rest of my beer? What the fuck is taking you so long? If you are not out here after I count to five, we’re coming in after ya!”
Bill began to giggle as he dropped his empty bottle to the floor. “Make it ten, I got to get my condom out of my wallet!” he snickered through his drunken laugh.
“One!” Kevin shouted. He looked over at Bill who was already unfastening his belt with his wallet clenched between his teeth. Kevin laughed for a moment and then returned to his hostile count. “Two!” He slams the refrigerator door closed, causing a mini earthquake to the dusty colony of knick-knacks that dwell above the freezer. Their fragile ceramic bodies crash to the dirty kitchen floor. “How many damn times have I told you…”
Shelby appeared in the door frame connecting the bedroom to the living room. Her tight jeans and white button down blouse highlighted her natural curves. Bill stopped fidgeting with his pants long enough to drop the wallet from his mouth.
Kevin stopped in mid sentence. His anger now focused to a razors edge on Shelby as she raised a cigarette to her full red lips. He wiped the spittle that had formed around his mouth from screaming. “Why did you even bother putting your pants back on? Poor Bill here is having enough problems with his own clothes, now he’s gotta fuck with yours?”
Shelby stared at Kevin for a moment. Taking a long drag from her smoke, her hands slowly make their way to her jeans. She pulls the zipper and drops them to the floor with the enthusiasm of a patient getting ready to receive a rectal exam. “Oh yeah that was real sexy, Shelby.” Kevin snaps. “Get with the program, girl! We are trying to show Bill here a good time!”
She glances at Bill who is now naked from the waist down and fumbling with the condom wrapper. Kevin begins to stagger towards Shelby, kicking the shattered knick-knacks out of his way. He reaches her quickly and holds her close, pushing his face into her neck. “C’mon, baby. You know you like it rough. It’s all you’ve ever had.”. His left hand grabs her bare ass as his right tugs and pulls at her breasts. “Lose the shirt.” He whispers as his tongue begins licking the nape of her neck. Shelby pulls away slightly. Her hands rise up to try and defend the buttons of her blouse. “Can I keep my top on this time?” she asks. Bill begins pulling his head back to look Shelby in the eyes. “Now why would you want to hide those beautiful…”. His eyes look into hers and then slowly walk down her trembling lips, passing her smooth white neck, and landing on the blood stain now seeping through her blouse and staining his hand.