"Dude, first of all, you need to realize you are only a pequeno part of the vast fabric of life."
"Fabric? I don't sew" I muttered, wishing that damn Mexican beast had brought me a beer. My throat was dry, my mind was mush and I suspected he drank all of my cervesas while I was in a brain numbing slumber. Hairy little beer sucker.
"I mean you are less than a blip on the radar in terms of the universe" he retorted, then sighed heavily. "Geez, maybe I should invite Miss Kitty from next door over to explain what I have to get you to understand. She is an expert at explaining complicated concepts. It would be difficult for Stephen Hawking to comprehend and I am utterly positive you are less intelligent than him."
"Well duh! Wait a minute..."
"Yes, it was meant as in insult, and no, I shouldn't have to specify that."
Damn. My dog can talk and guess what: he's a furball of sarcasm. And apparently he's more intelligent than I. Or me. Or whatever the proper grammar should be. Just my luck.
"Wait a minute. Miss Kitty? That fru-fru white cat from next door? The one you are always fighting with?"
"Yeah, well, that is called 'acting', purely for your benefit. We are actually great friends. Those claws of hers are perfect for back scratching. She loves your beers. And by the way, never end a sentence with a preposition."
"Huh?" I stammered.
"Never end a sentence with a preposition such as with. Oh, never mind. Wasted voiced. Miss Kitty told me as much."
"She has been drinking my beer?" I screeched. "Who else has been drinking my beer?"
"Dude, calm down. You are missing the point of the conversation. The sole reason we are conversing is we, the creatures of the so-called animal world need your help to save the world. We are in mortal danger!"