People Stealing

Charles Dunlaw is a man of little grace. His approach to life is blunt, his ways of negotiation are similar to that of a battering ram, and his caution is along for the ride like a caterpillar being dragged on the end of a leash of dental floss.

He unwittingly tries to fit in by being an individual while completely missing the point, and his greed for proving a point is blindly competitive. Often, he doesn't even have a point, and the pointiest part of his character is his pride. The words, "What's the point?" never stop him from belabouring an argument.

But Charles has a certain quality: a special force of endurance and persistence that most do not possess. Perhaps it is his complete disregard for the signs of failure. Or perhaps he has a monthly gift card to Ambition and wants to get his money's worth.

But whatever the case, it soon became apparant that he was meant for greater things. And this calling of Great Things came to him abruptly like the falling of an avalanch of destiny. The only difference was that it didn't have quite so much icing, and there was certainly no cherry on top. It happened like this.

He was walking down the street at twelve noon having just eaten a particularly sugary donut, and he was wondering if he ought to jog it off, when a gang in ski masks leapt from the alleyway like a surprise party gone wild. Unfortunately, they were not gripping balloons.

Charles didn't get a chance to run his donut off as he was then stuffed into a white van like a piece of furniture.

And nobody treats Charles like furniture.

The End

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