Keeping a squeal down, I pop the HUGE spider out of my hiding hole, gagging slightly, and nest back inside. I suppose that's the downside to hiding in a muddy hole, you always get the creepy crawlies skittering about, like nobody's business.
There is a almost, overwhelming stench of rotting mud here, I just hope and pray that there aren't any badgers around here like there was in England when I was staying with friends. That wasn't a nice experience that's for sure.
Another reason why my own Father's ashamed of me? Apparently, according to Madam Vera, I act more like a Prince than a Princess and that I should 'walk around with a paper bag on my head.' A charming woman, Madam Vera, she only made me throw up once - when she forced fermented cabbage down my throat (one word, GROSS!)
I suppose, any logical person will wonder, why are you squatting in a muddy hole?
Well, to answer that silly, silly question, I am in here to avoid the dance over yonder. Sure, it's probably finished by now, but I am not risking dancing with some buffoon with his head so far up his own bottom that he is perfectly acquainted with his bladder.
I know that Prince, too. He is, Prince Percival Pratt - try saying that over and over. The only reason I know that Prince Pee-Pee (Immature, yes. Mean, maybe. The look on his face when I first said is, brilliant.) came to the ball is because my Daddy-Dearest decided to send me a telegram (he never has been the best with technology) informing me that Prince Pee-Pee is coming and that I must be on my best behaviour.
This is the best I could do. Normally, I'd need a fortnight at the most to be able to deal with Prince Pee-Pee, being calm and serene. Now, I thought it would be better for everyone if I hid down here.
Hopefully it pays off. The only downside is, I'm starving and knackered. Oh well, one can't just expect for one's problems to be gone in a minute. Sometimes, one has to get down and dirty (and freezing and hungry) to make people angry.
I wish I could see the look on Dad's face when he finds out. I really do...