Helenus and the Palladium

The sound of horse’s hooves on the hard, dusty ground could be heard as Helenus fled Troy. The heat was stifling, especially under the leather cowboy boots he wore, but still he rode on. Anger boiled inside him. His father, Priam, sheriff of Troy, had given Paris’s widow, Helen, to his brother Deiphobus.

By the time Helenus reached the Greeks the initial anger was fading, and revenge was now on his mind. He heaved on the reins of his skewbald stallion, it’s hooves clashed together as he skidded to a halt.
“Howdy, Enemies of Troy, I’m a Helenus… Of Troy.” He bellowed, “but don’t shoot.” he added hastily, as he had seen the sun glistening on more than a few pistols pointing straight at his head. “Whoa there,” he laughed, “I’m on yah side now. But wait... There’s more! I can tell ya’ll three things you need to do to defeat Troy.”

A strange looking man with a pink trim on his tan suede jacket stepped forward. “ ‘Kay” he slurred, showing dirty, uneven teeth, “lets here yah.”

Helenus checked that he could feel his own pistol in its leather holster against his thigh before he spoke again. “Firstly,” he began,” You must bring from Pisa to Troy the Ivory shoulder blade that Demeter had given to Pelops. Then you must find Achilles bastard son and bring him to Troy. And, lastly, you must steal from Troy the wooden image called the Palladium, because if it remains within Troy… it shall never fall to the Greeks.  I shant impose on yah anymore, all I ask is that you consider my ideas and allow me safe passage to another state.” And with that he turned his horse on the spot, kicking up clouds of dust, and galloped away.

The sheriff knew that the first two tasks would prove to be relatively easy, but the third would be more challenging. He had heard about two skilled cowboys and thought they would be ideal for this task. These two were Odysseus and Diomedes.

They left the Greek camp on a still, almost silent night, but the sound of their steed’s hooves on the barren landscape was like a whisper on this ghostly night. They tethered their horses a short distance from the walls and Odysseus, leaving Diomedes waiting, disguised himself as a beggar and entered the city. There he was recognized by Helen, who told him where the Palladium was.
Diomedes then scaled the walls of Troy. Together, the two friends crept through the city. They killed several people along the way and then stole the Palladium with the blood of their victims staining their hands.

Odysseus, big headed with their victory, decided to claim all the credit for himself and plotted to kill Diomedes. He threw his lasso high in the air, but Diomedes saw it’s shadow and herd it swish through the air. Turning swiftly, he drew his gun and caught Odysseus without defence.

“Traitor!” he yelled, “How dare you turn on me like this, you dirty scoundrel!”

Odysseus laughed, “As it were me that physically took the Palladium, I think I deserve all the credit.”

Knowing this was not at all true, because it was actually him, Diomedes was outraged. He tortured Odysseus, but did not kill him, as he was still vital to the war effort.

The End

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