The Judgement of Paris (Potter)

The Judgement of Paris (Potter)

The young boy who was born the baby son of Hecabe and Priam was named Paris Potter. He had been separated from his loving parents by the atrociously evil He-who-must-not-be-named (also known as King Bill), as a prophecy had foretold that Paris Potter would destroy the empire of Troywarts. In the process, He-who-must-not-be-named branded Paris Potter with a scar, which bore a striking resemblance to a swatted fly, a scar that looked funky, but was also painful as well in times of danger… Paris Potter, while in the care of a fat hersdsman named Dursleycrates, grew up to be a fine young chap, who enjoyed the odd spot of bull provoking and cow herding.

So, one day, Paris’ mentor Zeumbledore was trying to seduce his lover and friend, Grindlewaldetis, but he heard a rumor from his friend Trelawneous that any son that Grindlewaldetis would bear him (oh the miracles of modern science!), would be greater and more powerful than him. Just to be on the safe side  he decided to marry Grindlewaldetis off to the Argonout Bellatrixous. The wedding commenced and all of the people of Troywarts were invited along, except for Snapis, the grouchy one who no one really liked. Snapis decided to come along anyway, to stir up some trouble, and made an entrance by throwing a golden snitch amongnst the guests which was inscribed ‘For the Fairest’. The ladies started to bicker amongst themselves, a few curses started flying, and then Zeumbledore boomed ‘Paris, once again, I must ask too much of you. You must judge this beauty contest…’ Paris didn’t mind so much as he had a thing for one of the main contenders anyway, Choadite. Each of the three main contenters offered Paris Potter something as a tempting bribe. Hermithene offered wisdom and military glory, Fleura promised to make him a wealthy king of Troywarts, and Choadite offered Paris Potter the prize of a equally beautiful women to be his wife. Being the shallow git that he was, Paris went for Choadite’s prize and received Ginnelen of the Burrow as his reward. Jealous Hermithene and Fleura took off to plan their revenge over a bubbling cauldron and a pottle of pumpkin juice, while Choadite went about furfilling her promise….

 

The End

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