There's never been much good in my life. Not since I was little. My name's Alice by the way. The death of one parent resulted in the (mental) death of the other. My father simply couldn't cope when my mother died, so when I needed him most, when I was a little girl who would never see her mother again, my father left me to find my way alone. It was never easy, and there were always problems, whether it was due to him not turning up to pick me up from school, or if he simply disappeared for a week or two. I got to know where the money was hidden, and how to cook so that i had something at least half edible.
Even when my father actually was found dead as the result of liver failure, it became simply another problem to deal with. By that point I was almost waiting for the next thing to go wrong. It's not that I didn't love my father, it was just that he was just never there. When they found his body, I had to be the one to identify him. I was 15 and having to view the last of my family for the final time. The funeral was arranged, and I went, but I could no longer cry. Not any more.
I was taken into foster care a short while after my father's death, and everyone worried that I would go off the rails, but I could hardly feel it. I would sometimes find a tear on my eyelashes, but that was rare. I had no time for tears. They were what the younger kids did to get attention, and I didn't need that. I needed to sort things out, and then just get on with my life.
My school work had never been particularly good, but after the fostering, I missed all of my final exams. They arranged for me to re-do them and I'm due to get my results in the next couple of weeks, but I already know what that little piece of paper will say. That I failed the exams. It won't matter anyway. I'm not interested in carrying on for my A-levels. I plan to go travelling the world. My parents left behind a little bit of money, just enough for me to go travelling.
As soon as I turn 16 I am out of here. There's no way I am going to stay here in this hell-hole any longer than I have to. I ran away a lot in the first couple of months, but there's no point with just over a month to go. Most of my possessions are already packed. Everything I plan to take with me is ready. I'm leaving behind anything unneccessary.