Insecurity.

 

Megan.

The bus is always late. I hate that. I don't understand why they can't be on time. Don't they realise people have places to be? What if I miss the train. What if I miss my interview. Why does this always happen to me? Not like Bryan, why does everything always fit for him.. Ever since I've known him; but not me, not for Megan. I hate that. I hate me.

Remember last week? I went out to that bar, the one down my street. What's its name? 'The Principle'? No.. It began with a 'P', I'm sure of that. I hate it when I forget things. Bryan. Ah yes; he was there.. with her. Why was he there with her? She is so false, with that handbag. Those shoes. That hair. So false. I hate falseness. I hate me.

Oh, the bus is here. You have to signal for it Megan. How do I signal. Should I wave? No, that will look strange, people will look at you. Do something Megan. Stop the bus! Oh, thank god. That girl is waving. I wish I looked like her when I waved. I like her hair. Is that a flower? I wish I could pull off a flower. I hate me.

That man is looking at her. Why do people look at her. Why don't they look at me? I should wear a flower too. No, don't be silly Megan, you don't have the eyes for it. I wish people wanted to look at me. Is she looking at me? No, she is smiling at someone though. Who is it? Should I smile back? But what if she isn't smiling at me? Look at your phone. No messages. I hate me.

I hope I get this job. I could work with Bryan. I'd like that. He likes me. I hope he loves me some day. He is too good for her. He needs someone who loves him, loves his smile, loves his eyes, loves his hair. I love those things. Why doesn't he love me? I hope he calls me soon. I hate me.

The End

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