"When did you become so mean?" He asked me. I stared at him in disbelief.
"I've always been like this. I've always been the same person." I laughed.
But then he shook his head.
"I remember talking to you at the beginning of last year. You were nice. You were a nice person then. What happened?" He asked me.
Chills ran through my body, even though it was hot. He was right. I had changed. I guess I just hadn't realised it.
He walked out of the empty room and I closed the piano lid.
I put my head down on it.
After a few minutes, I got up, pushed the stool in and left.
I waited outside our school.
He thought I used to be nice?
Yeah, maybe when I was eight.
I haven't been a nice person for a long time but how else are you going to stand up for yourself in a public high school full of people who just love to put you down.
Apparently no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
The thing is; change isn't necessarily good.
What if I was actually was nice?
What if I was just having a bad day?
What if I was sick of all the stupid douches at school (but thats all the time)
I don't know, and I probably never will.
I am a mean person.
Maybe I was nice once but I grew up until I was ten with just boys in my family (mum doesn't count).
I had to learn how to fire sarcastic comments back at everything that was said which is now just a habit.
But after that person said that to me....
I have made a promise to myself to maybe be nicer to people.
To maybe not be such a bitch all the time.
Yes it will be hard because its what I'm used to.
And I kind of like being the one that people are scared of...
It makes you feel powerful.
But enough is enough and I think I should change.
Of course I'm still going to be a sarcastic beotch... just less of a sarcastic beotch.
But at least its a start.
Its a promise of change and thats how everything starts.