Three years ago, I would never have thought that I would become the person I am today.
I never thought that I would be this dark.
I never thought that I would feel like this- day after day.
I didn't think that getting older meant that I would delve deeper into nothingness and that I would shake every time someone asks me how I am.
Do I tell them the truth? Or do I lie and say that I am fine when really inside I'm dead.
That happens. You know. People ask how I am and I have this urge to finally open up to someone and tell them everything but there is only one person I have ever told my one secret and even then, I did not tell that person the whole truth.
The only person you can save is yourself.
There is no light, only darkness.
Nothing can save you if you do not accept that you can survive.
But thats not the way the world works. Thats not the way that my stupid teenage hormonal body works.
You ever have those days when you just feel like you can't go on and you just want to leave?
You ever feel like going to sleep and never getting up because there is nothing better in the world?
You ever get those chills when you wonder, who would care if you died?
Because I'm just one of many.
And I was supposed to go to sleep an hour ago.
But no one cares about that either.