On my way home it began to rain. The weather was reflecting my mood perfectly. I turned the volume on my radio up loud as the rain slashed across my windshield. The music begins to drown out my thoughts as I focus on getting home. As I pull into the driveway I spot my mom on the porch, in her rocking chair.
After unpacking my car I go upstairs and take a hot shower. When I step out of the shower I find the whole bathroom full of steam. Downstairs a door slams and I can hear a male voice yelling. My stepdad must have just gotten home from work which means it is about 9. My bedroom and bathroom are connected, so thankfully I didn’t have to go into the hall and face Rick. When he is in a bad mood, or really any kind of mood, it is best not to cross his path.
As I walk into my room my phone starts to ring. “Hello?” I answer as I lay on my bed. “Hey.” It’s my best friend Jack. “Hey! What’s up?” The sound of his voice instantly cheers me up. He’s like a brother to me and I’ve known him forever. “Not much, my mom keeps nagging me about homework and grades and whatnot.” He replies in a cheerful voice. “Whatnot? Who says that anymore!?” I give a small laugh and all sadness has vanished from my mind.
Half an hour later I get off the phone and begin listening to my iPod. My stomach growls and I realize it’s 9:30 and I haven’t eaten dinner. I go downstairs and receive a glare from Rick. I ignore him and go to the kitchen. Opening the fridge I see that mom hasn’t gone to the store. The only good thing to eat is the ice cream in the freezer. I put a few scoops of cookies and cream into a bowl and head back to my room, avoiding Rick’s eyes.
Just as I’ve gotten to my bed and started eating my mom taps on the door and comes in. “Hey honey I’m going to the diner, please don’t stay up too late.” She comes over and give me a kiss on the forehead and before walking out of the room says, “I love you see you tomorrow.” My mom works the night shifts at our diner; it stays open until 2 am so when she comes home I’m normally asleep, or pretending to be. As I hear her pulling out of the driveway I turn my lamp off and begin to think. That’s what I do at night, I think. I think about all of the things that are messed up with me. Ok yeah, so I think about Tyler. The only time I can think about him and not feel like I have to stop because of people around me.
Right when I can barely take it and I’m about to cry my door opens, making that creepy squeaking noise. It’s Rick. He and my mom haven’t been married long, just a couple months, and he has never been in my room. The light pours in around him from the hall. I suddenly am very aware of the fact that I only have on short shorts and a spaghetti strap cami. We stare at each other for a minute and then just as I think he will come in and make everything worse he steps back and closes the door, leaving a silent warning hanging in the air.
I let out the breath I didn’t even know I was holding. Things were changing here. Yes, maybe I should have known this was coming, but all he has ever done before was look. You know, give me a once over, that hungry look guys get. But I never thought he would actually touch me. He was probably mad that I had come downstairs earlier and entered his presence and somehow tempted him or something.
I shook my head, needing to think about something else. I think about my conversation with jack earlier. I had told him my plan. He was pretty mad about it. I know he loves me but I don’t know if it’s just brotherly love or if it’s more than that. Either way he’s like a brother to me. I don’t want to hurt him with what I’m going to do, but I have to do something especially after what just happened. Tomorrow everything would change, tomorrow I would die.