I looked up from my book. The sun was shinning bright and warm on my skin. Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses or the glare from the sun would hurt my eyes. It was such a calm place; you couldn’t help but feel peaceful. I’m not exactly sure how I feel. I’m a bottle filled to the brim with mixed emotions. One thing I know for sure is that I need today. A light breeze rustled the leaves of the tall palm tree that stood over me. I could hear the waves from where I was sitting as they continuously hit the sand a few yards in front of me. The water sparkled so beautifully, the way his eyes used to sparkle when they looked at me. Of course there was no escaping him, it doesn’t matter that he isn’t here. I am a prisoner to my thoughts. They betray me, pulling me back to memories of him. The one thing I wanted, so much so that it was almost a need, was the one thing I couldn’t have.
This book wasn’t helping much. I just had to have a taste for the girly books where a guy and a girl fall in love and live happily ever after. I wish I could say gag me and truly mean it, unfortunately I’m actually jealous of the girls I read about. My life used to be like the stories I read. Let me guess, you’re thinking, “well then, Chloe, what happened??” What happened is everything changed, it all changed because of one kiss.
I marked my page with my bookmark and got up out of my beach chair; I slipped out of my shorts and went down to the water. As I dipped my feet in, the water felt so warm and cool at the same time. I waded in knee deep; the water soothed my hot skin. I hadn’t noticed how hot I had gotten from sitting in the sun for so long.
I noticed a wave building. As it comes toward me I get ready and right before it hits me I dive under. I hold my breath and stay there, underwater. Maybe I can stay this way long enough to pass out and drown.
My body began to fight my breath holding. My head broke through the surface of the water and I drank the salty air in gasps. It was a pretty pathetic attempt, but whoever said life was fragile was terribly mistaken. I dragged my tired body out of the water and collapsed on the sand. I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. When I opened my eyes I saw him grinning down at me, laughing at my attempt to end my misery. I knew it wasn’t real, he had never laughed at my pain. I shook my head and he disappeared. I imagine him a lot, so it wasn’t much of a surprise that I did again. I just shake my head and he goes away. I wish my feelings were the same way, although, he is never completely gone from my thoughts. I always find a way to connect him to what I’m thinking.
I opened my eyes; the sun was close to setting. I had fallen asleep laying there on the sand. It’s amazing how fast a day can slip by. I got up slowly and walked back to my chair. After I had all of my things packed again I loaded my car up. I walked down to the water one last time and made a wish as the sun went down.