The intricate plot has been stalking the candy wrapper for three miles as it blows down the street. But it can never catch up. It can never direct the wind. And the candy wrapper is not even wrapping a candy. But that's beside the point.

And then the poet sitting in the tree asks the question, "What is rubbish?"

The plot freezes from its obsessive stalking to stare the poet down.

"I do say," proclaims the poet. "Rubbish is for rubbish sake. And who's sake is staked with snake steak, scraped upon his slate? I do say."

The plot cringes. Such nonsense is painful. But so is following a piece of trash around. It's time for the plot to take over. It's time for the plot to get a life.

But, unfortunately, this particular plot is a dimwit and a wimp. And it cannot remain interesting enough even to creep into the story as a personified version that acts as a piteous character.


The newscaster gives the camera man a blank stare.

"Are we live?" he asks.

"Sure are!" yells the camera man.

"Then why are you yelling 'cut' at me?"

"Cause you messed up."

"I'm sorry, I can't work under these conditions," replies the newscaster. "The show is going ary. There's too much garbage in this script."

"You mean rubbish."


 "Cut, cut, and cut. You gotta say rubbish."

"You can't cut me when I'm not even on script!"

"Really? Then what's this giant knife for?"


And now we are here, standing in a study. Smac sits at the desk, busily scribbling across a stack of paper with shining red ink. He is editting the rubbish. It is not rubbish enough. And so his pen that is meant to edit, is doodling and scribbling, carving and etching. But never does it pen the page. For it is no longer called a pen. Smac has given it a new name.

It is the Blade of Rubbish.

And with it, he shall command the authors to peform their worst, to give forth such a quality of rubbish as to transform the universe into a wheeled rubbish bin. One that holds nothing and everything at the same time.

But little does he know, I am standing right behind him.

And I have brought with me--the 3 R'd Blade!

Recycle, Reduce and Reuse MOFO!

The End

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