Golde Diggers of 1589

Excerpt from "Golde Diggers of 1589", a rejected manuscript by William Shakespeare. From the reference in Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACT I, SCENE III

A room in COUNT SECUNDUS's palace.

Enter COUNT SECUNDUS, DUKE OFFAL

OFFAL

    Ah, mine eyes hath seen of the Duke's wife:

    A haze of corpulent clouds over the Duke's lush life.

SECUNDUS

    My federary, familiar of forfended tells

    What wailful news hath thy patchery unveiled?

    Which rancorous requiem dost thou intend

    To retale over my matrimonial grave?

OFFAL

    The tainture of thy bed is my dole:

    That thy shrew doth derogate thy name.

    Thine own blood be her vain

    Countess Impressa doth tender thy pocket.

SECUNDUS

    Thy tawdry rag! Thoust be termagant

    Aim'ed to boast over mine gypp'ed heart!

OFFAL

    A taste, mine a'lliege! Thine Impressa

    Be liberal with thine lottery

    And doth wax lewd over her gains:

    Mine Count must retire thine rigs,

    Thou must release thine lines and thine ties

    From thine shipwreck'ed heart.

SECUNDUS

    A rancorous romange doth stir in mine chest:

    Thou must prise her wretched claws

    From off mine pied purse.

OFFAL

    Aye, and so we weft an plaited web:

    A fine prank, and true

    Tis that thine Impressa malcontent

    Shall by passionate precept

    Be unwimpl'ed. Be shown for wick'ed.

Exit DUKE OFFAL

SECUNDUS

    Be mine windring works a warn:

    Of weeted lies and whelk'ed scorn.

    Mine Countessa of a facinorous fine,

    Be one of ye goldediggers of fifteen-eighty-nine!

Exit COUNT SECUNDUS

The End

12 comments about this story Feed