Mortician Gives InMature

"Reporting for duty, sir." Alex sends an obnoxious two-fingered salute to Mortician, who merely sighs and narrows his eyes. The correct greeting would have been: "Reporting for mission overview and general information, sir." 

The German man's too much of a little sh-t to say that, though. 

"Keep the insubordination to a minimum, Goldfinch." The man's voice is all no-nonsense and this is bullsh-t.

"Our team is currently psychologically compromised, Mortician. Without Mocker, our performance level is severely reduced." Blackbird contributes, and gives him a steely glare.

"Must we go into this without a leader?" Loon asks, eyes a little bit pleading.

"I am your leader." Mortician said.

Sparrow snorted. "If you're our leader, then I'm Saint Nicholas."  She gave him a dead-eyed stare. "Coal will be our agent-in-charge for this mission. She is fully qualified for the task, with the necessary credentials and experience in C.A.R.D. and other agency academy courses." The look on her face dared him to argue. 

"Yeah, that's... not going to happen." Mortician gave an incredulous laugh. "And even if it were an option, that would require holding Coal back and having her as your handler from base." 

"No, it wouldn't." Warbler stepped forwards. "We're all used to giving orders from the field, it wouldn't affect our decision-making skills." 

Mortician surveyed the room - six agents who all resented him at the moment. Six fully-trained specialist agents. 

"No." He said, finally. 

"This is going to be a clusterfuck of a mission." Goldfinch muttered out of the side of his mouth to Coal. 

"Are you kidding me? It's going to be so, so, much worse." She replied, eyes hard with the certainty of failure. 

"Why the hell am I assigned to you people?! No! This is the third day of this, and I can't talk it! I've stared down foreign delegations filled with corruption, terrorists poised to destroy, villains of the worst kind, real-life nightmares! Why can I not handle you guys without a leader?!" Mortician appeared to have reached his breaking point, and his eyes were a little wild. 

"I will be having words with the Director." He snarled, before turning around and marching out of the room. Just before he stomped out of the room, he yelled over his shoulder, "Just in retaliation, I'm giving you Zephyr for a handler!" 

The End

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