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...I remember biting that kneck, feeling his body rise beneath mind as I did, he felt lust,  I felt nothing. Further my eyes trail, I search, I remember, I remember feeling nothing, nothing at all. I pushed it, I wanted to feel excited, turned on even but I couldnt. His hands, those hideous hands, searching my body, making my skin crawl but still I tried to get even the most remote sensation of enjoyment, but I couldnt. I feel my eyes welling up. I pity myself, my desparation to be fulfilled by the pleasures that everyday people enjoy but these things mean nothing to me.

Then I see it, glistening, beautiful in the light. Im drawn to it. Almost hypnotised by it and there it is, that feeling, release, almost joy, excitement, fulfillment, lust. I remember, those feelings, those wonderful glorious feelings rushing over me, cleansing me as I plunged my hand into him, that feeling of warmth, of satisfaction as I felt his life slip away with every thrust of that knife.

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