Why Sleeping in Public is Taboo

Waking up is always a traumatic experience. Think about it - you have spent the last 10 hours or so in a coma like state, totally unaware of your surroundings. Anything could have happened. Although this may seem rather exciting at first, I assure you this is not the case. There was once a man who fell asleep in the middle of the MCR. To this day we are not sure of why he fell asleep. It may have been a rash burst of insanity, it may have been attempted suicide, or it may have been forced upon him by some evil society or other. One thing we are sure of though, is that the man was named Steve.

Steve was innocently going about his business when he suddenly dropped to the floor in a deep stupor. It was the kind of sleep certain more ancient family members experience at haphazard points throughout the day. They become so deeply unaware so quickly you wonder whether they've died or not - but unfortunately your hopes are usually dashed when they begin to snore. Snoring was well known to be one of the most irritating habits anyone could partake in. Steve was an avid snorer, which may have been the main thing that cost him his life.

When he first fell to the floor asleep, there was some general mild annoyance due to the inconvenience of a limp body blocking the path. When someone tripped over Steve's body and got a nose bleed however, things started to get ugly. I do not know the exact details of what went on that day - apparently they were too horrific to ever be spoken in words - but needless to say Steve was never to be seen again...

And so, when I woke up after being shot, I was naturally distressed. Therefore, my following actions can justifiably be excused...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I yelled, leaping to my feet and running over to where Stella stood, attempting to control the ship. She was doing everything all wrong, which was to be expected of course. For starters she had shoes on. How were you possibly meant to drive a ship with the distraction of shoes and shoe laces?!

"Flying it," she said simply.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY! HOW DARE YOU SHOOT ME AND STEAL MY SHIP AND TAKE ME TO... TO WHEREVER WE ARE!" I paused, "WHERE ARE WE?!"

"Idiot," she muttered, folding her arms.

At this point I was fuming, ready to burst and unleash the destruction my anger would surely bring, "HOW DARE YOU CALL ME AN IDIOT?!"

"The planet idiot?"

"THERE IS NO SUCH-"

Stella brought up a star chart on the screen, showing the planet idiot. Clearly it had been made up. Stella was an idiot. I was right, I was always right. I switched off the screen.

"Get out," I said.

"I can't leave now, we're in space," she said, feeling all smug.

"I don't care. You steal my ship, I throw you into a cosmic ray filled vacuum."

The End

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