I could just tell she didn’t believe my words of reassurance. Every time I tried to bargain with her, her answers ranged from “yeah, okay” and “sure, sure”. Two weeks had passed, but I wasn’t giving up just yet.
And my drive to win eventually paid off. It was New Years Eve when things went down. She and some mutual friends were over at my place, chilling up in the movie room like always when her cell phone went off in my bedroom.
Here’s the funny thing: I knew she wanted something, otherwise she wouldn’t always go into my room or leave her purse in there. And I was tired of just letting her go get it without following. So her cell ringing seemed like the perfect excuse.
As soon as Rihanna’s voice sounded loud with the song “Love The Way You Lie”, she rushed off to answer it. I counted to three and winked at everyone in the movie room, producing some chuckles, before following in after her and closing the door behind me. She didn’t respond to the door closing, too engrossed in her conversation with someone apparently. And I waited patiently for her to hang up. I had all the time in the world with the door closed. There was no stopping now. Minutes later, she hung up the phone and jumped a little when she saw me behind her.
“Hey,” I whispered with a charming smile.
“Hi.” She whispered back, but just in that one word I could figure out so much. She was nervous, but slightly craving exactly what I wanted to give her.
I closed the short distance between us, towering over her small body as she leaned casually against the wall. Then I grabbed her chin gently, paused to stare into her eyes and then kissed her slowly and sweetly.
A perfect start to a perfect plan.
Even with the street lamppost light flooding in through his window, that didn’t stop the strange feeling I got that everything was suddenly so dark.
And at the rate my heart was pounding, I was sure he could hear it. There was just something so different about kissing him standing up. Maybe it was the fact that he was extremely tall, but then again, maybe it was just something else I can’t explain.
Either way, my head was full of air, my stomach of butterflies, and my gut telling me to push him away and run for it.
“It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.”
And I’m not this girl. Right? I don’t stand in the dark bedrooms of hot seniors and kiss them on New Year Eves. In fact, in past years I was never kissing anyone on this night. And it wasn’t even time for the ball to drop yet.
But something else was dropping right now: my dignity.
With the way he was kissing me, how could I not give in? With his hands unseasonably cold yet comforting on my face, how could we spend the rest of this night just like this?
And what do you know, here’s the perfect/imperfect answer to that: we can’t.
We just can’t.