Later came. I could tell he really wanted to see how much further he could go in one night and I was okay with that. Somewhat. I knew for sure we wouldn't be having sex, but what I didn't know was if he was willing to try me for it or not. Which is something that later becomes another one of our issues.
After eating downstairs, our group returned to the movie room couch. I took a seat as well and he followed suit, draping a blanket over me. It was hot. I didn't want nor feel the need to be covered with a thick blanket. I was fully dressed with a jacket and boots while he was barefoot with just jeans and a tee. So I'll say again, it was hot.
The people around us were either oblivious, or ignoring what was so obviously about to happen. Well, obvious to everyone but me until he reached down between my legs. I started to protest but then thought oh, what the hell.
He struggled a little in getting my belt undo, but then he unbuttoned and unzipped like an expert. This was somewhat new to me. Only one other boy had been inside my pants, and I had stopped him before he actually did anything. But this was different.
First off, there was no stopping now. And second, this was a senior, a guy almost two whole years older than me. Which means two whole years of experience I (and that other boy) didn't have. So, everything was new. The feeling of something inside me was new, the noises that felt they would surface without warning was new, he was new.
He seemed like he could go on forever without stopping, and I couldn't handle that. I also couldn't handle the fact that everyone was around us, everyone could know if they just looked. Thank god no one did.
But one guy on the other side of him did glance once. But it wasn't really a glance, it was more glare. I guess after playing in my pants for a while, he was beginning to get bored. Slowly, he tried to ease my shirt off and I fidgeted away.The other guy saw and watched, as he tried again but I said no. He gave up then, giving the guy a look that I didn't understand, which made him turn away quickly.
On one hand I kind of wanted him to just pick me up and whisk me off into his bedroom. But on the other, I didn't want to be inside of there with my pants unzipped. Call it a gut feeling, but laying naked under him or even with a little less clothing on scared me. I didn't want to get put into a situation where sex could become an option. Not that I'd say yes in the moment or anything, I just didn't want to be close enough to have to say no.
And at the time I think he sensed this, which is why he didn't push further. But in all honesty, what is the difference between a push now and a push later? Nothing. Because either way we could end up in territory I most definitely didn't want to enter.